write "morning pages"

“’Know thyself?’ If I knew myself, I’d run away.”
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This is probably true for me at least. I really don’t feel like I know myself. I try to convince myself that I do, but I wonder about me sometimes.

I am out of tablets. Its a bad excuse that I’ve used before, I know.

I am going to get a tablet…right NOW. And write. Get out all this valuable poignant anxiety. The tightness in my chest.

My outsides are reflecting onto my insides.

I need to let my insides out, perhaps then I’ll feel better.

this morning pages train. I’m getting back on it, now. It doesn’t matter that it’s 4:48pm. I can still do them. And I will. I vow to start today. I vow to forgive myself for my past mistakes. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong so Ghandi says.

I’m getting back on track. I was definitely feeling a difference when I wasn’t doing them and now that I’m back I feel the creativity flowing. It’s amazing.

so far I’m on a 2 day hiatus. I feel mentally bankrupt. I need inspiration. I know I can find it in the pages I’m not taking the time to look though. I need to find it in the pages. I need a good artist’s date, too.

Writing these over the weekends has really been a challenge for me and I did it this weekend. I’m so proud of myself. It’s about the only goal I really accomplished with full gusto this weekend but it’s something!

Ok here I go. I’ve been procrastinating but it needs to happen. I need to work through things in my head and in my art.

And I will. My surroundings are quiet. I can write. I will. I will. I will.

I’m currently on week 3 of the amazing book “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. I have written my morning pages 2 times this week and I just started working on Week 3 tasks. If I write my morning pages tomorrow and Thursday it will be 4 days out of 7 days this week ~ which is ok, not great, but not too bad. I’m vying for 7 out of 7. Perhaps I can make it happen next week.