have faith

Lately, I’ve been doing my own things. Each time, I hit rock bottom. You think I’d learn that I am not the one in control. There’s a higher Power who is. Even though I fail and trust myself so often, He draws me back to Him. How can I not have faith?

sometimes i think, “okay, i do believe. God is real, and i can totally trust Him no matter what.” other times, i’m like, “what am i thinking? how could there be a God who exists and loves a crazy world of messed up people like me? it’s not like anyone actually has faith and lives by it. everyone lives selfishly.” but that’s what faith is, believing without seeing, even though nobody around you is. and, even when i doubt, God isn’t shocked or anything. through trials and failures, i find God’s interving love. and it’s not like He is there to please me. i tend to forget that. but it’s really the opposite. but He does still love His people.