find love

all the girls i seem to like already have guys and most have guys who would beat me into a bloody pulp as soon as to look at me, or are realy niceguys i then i feel gui;lty for trying to suduce there girlfreinss. plus i suck at making the jump between being agirls freind and boy freind.

for one reson and one reson only i can never seem to make the jumpe between someone i a good freind of and someone i love how do you do it especialy if you love them and there unware of it i don’t want to lose them as a freind. aghhh! i so frustrating!

but the one i love only thinks me as a friend. sigh oh well thus is my life i’m usless at love mabey i sould move these goals to something more common like finding lve? but do i realy want toher peoples advice the whole affrir isnothing but uncertanties and areas of grey.

i suppose this goes under the title “finding true love” however this is a very personal thing to me as it suggests and absolute commitment that goes beyond love and almost touches brotherhood though i do have brothers i have nether felt a conection to them as much as i would like their to be. i have two both younger than me the middle one (soon will be eleven) always agues with me and though i love him he is a pain in the bum most of the time, the smaller one (soon to be six) is so inteligent that you can tell that he could do five or six degrees in his sleep when he is older and does things when he knows how a lot faster than i can.