Allow myself to only be treated well by the people I choose to have friendships and relationships with. If they do not, I need to find the courage to move on without them.

Myself and K repaired our friendship soon after I made my last entry. I called and left a message. She called back and even though I was busy, we talked about it. She apologized and has been great ever since.

let’s call her K has been acting really distant for at least 5 months now. I know the reason for this, she got a new boyfriend and even though I understand (that when you love someone, you want to spend all your time with that person), it hurts that she doesn’t have the decency to keep her promises, answer my emails or my calls anymore.

This was the same person who used to call me when she had no one and wail at not having a boyfriend. How soon she forgets, it hurts!!!!

I am not going to call her anymore, she is no longer a friend, I need to focus on other people who see me as a friend and act accordingly.

I left a group that I did not feel comfortable in. In a nutshell, they treated me like crap and I just decided to no longer be involved

Now how do you stay strong when you see these people everyday. You are linked by race and are so few in number. It is noticeable when you drop out and people wonder WHY?

How do you field the inevitable questions of “Why can’t you forgive? Why are you acting immature?

How do you deal with the inevitable feeling of guilt and sadness ?

with someone who is making my life miserable with mind games and simply harassment. I am away from home temporarily, that’s how I found myself in this situation. But, since peace of mind is my goal in life, I am avidly seeking to leave this environment.

and it suddenly dawned on me that I do this goal selectively.

There’s a person in my life who has treated me like crap in the past. Even though I’ve limited my dealings with this person, I will occasionally speak or defer to this person because he is so incredibly brilliant and I really admire and respect that trait.

Meanwhile there is another person who hasn’t treated me to the extent that this person has and has looked for ways to make up for his past bad treatement. Yet,I continue to be guarded around him and don’t cut him as much slack as I do person one.

I cannot believe that the reason for the different treatment is due to smarts. I am giving one person, an unfair and truthfully an underserved treatment,just because he is smarter.

The first one is still very prideful and yet I make excuses for him because he is smart. What kind of person am I?

I am ashamed of myself. I cannot believe I have been doing this. Starting from today, I will accord the people that give me respect,the same measure. No more brownie points because you are smart,beautiful or whatever else. Actions will be what I use to judge people.

I got screwed by someone I trusted, someone I confided in and the truth only came out when I confronted the person

I don’t trust people easily but when things like this happen, it reinforces my resolve never to let anyone in.

The reason for my not trusting is that I’ve been hurt in the past and being overly sensitive does not help.

I am still in a state of shock and sadness. I know this will pass but it hurts