forgive

that the most urgent person to forgive is myself.

I have been carrying a lot of guilt in my heart. The most important being

• Guilt at allowing myself to date my ex despite the red flags. I feel so stupid

I thought that the major hurdle in my life was to forgive my ex but the truth is, it’s really me. I have been beating myself down for the longest time, asking how I could have been so stupid, how I could have listened to his lies and not my intuition

I am tired of beating myself up, I loved, I lost. I made a mistake. I want to forgive ME

I still have not. It is hard. My pride does not want it but it’s hurting me.

Taken from a quote of a fellow 43 person

Imagine something stupid you did/said to/about someone once and if that person held it against you for the rest of their lives…Good thing most people don’t hold grudges.

His is one of the hardest. When I remember his betrayal, how he lied the entire time we were together and how he so easily broke his promises to me, knowing how vulnerable I am, it HURTS.

I am also finding it hard to forgive myself for not addressing the red flags when I saw them and for believing his words when his actions were the total opposite.

I want to forgive but it’s so hard.

that if I open myself up again, the person will hurt me

these people who have hurt me. It’s been a while and I am the one constantly suffering. I have already taken what I need to take from the experience. Now, I need to free myself of this burden.