Kick today's ass!

Is to just not let today kick my ass.

I’ve hit a wall with my body and flare up’s. I’ve just been on a long stretch of not feeling well. This heat of over 100 for a month straight is not helping me one damn bit either.

The heat level was 104 yesterday with a heat index of 110. Sigh, I’m a Midwest girl… I’m not designed for Texas.

It’s like I moved to the exact polar opposite of what I was raised and lived for 40 years with.

So today, what ever I accomplish, no matter how small. Is going to be celebrated.

and more housecleaning

Fold the laundry

Wash the last load

Hang up the whites

Sweep the kitchen and Living room

Mop the kitchen

Do the dishes

Put them away

Cabinets and counters

Clean the computer table.

Remove all games, cards, books from LR

Work on Jewelry for three hours.

Work on Jewelry even more hours.

Dead head all the flowers

pull all the weeds

sow more seeds

water the outer garden

Water the inner garden

put out the home made birdbath

Gather all the trash to be taken out

Get Kevin from school

Get surprise from Julie

Clean the tub

Clean the sink

Take laundry to the wash room

Clean the inside of the toilet

Clean the outside of the toilet

Sweep/mop the bathroom

Sweep the hallway

Work on ATC for swap

Work on Jewelry even more hours.

• Dishes

• Laundry

• Goodwill stuff

• Sweeping

• Long soak in the tub then a shower

• More yard work

• Work on my secret stuff and get it together.

* Take the clothes off the line

* Put a new load up

* Fill the washer with things that need to soak

• Clean the computer area {that didn’t get done yesterday}

* Put the platter on the cabinet so I can see it all the time

* Play more in the garden

* Fill out the papers

* Get the papers mailed

* check the other mail box

* clean out the car

• Bring all the clean laundry that needs to be folded into the LR.

* Find a box for Julie’s starter package

* Take out the trash

* Get some groceries to tide us over till the weekend

* Talk to Kevin since I was to upset to talk to him last night

We’ll see how much of this I can get done. I have a lot of little things that need tending also.

* Dishes {the never ending job}

* Take the clothes off the line

* Fill the clothes line back up

* sweep all the rooms

* straighten the bathroom

• put away the folded clothes.

• Bring the other clothes into the living room for folding

• Put clean linen on my bed

* Clean the computer area

* See Dr M

* Figure out supper

* Help Kj with his homework

* Get ahold of their father {He called again, I just couldn’t deal with talking to him. I had far to much swirling through my mind}

This is enough for the day, time to turn on the AC for some comfort cleaning.

• More time in the garden, tending and getting things ready
• Dishes
• Take out the trash
• Wash laundry
• Hang laundry out.
• Do more getting the bedroom ready
• Talk to Sierra about going home.

I didn’t take my baby girl to school until almost 11 and then when I got home I got on the computer with Uncle. We started talking and I never posted this.

So I’m doing that now. My baby girl is not happy here and things are not getting better for her… she told me today that she doesn’t want to live with me anymore, she just wants to go home.

For the past year she let up on it some and I thought I was seeing her warm toward being here a little. But, the terrified, broken child I seen this morning is not dealing well with it at all.

This puts me in such a horrid place. I want my child happy above all things and will die for her give up what ever I have to for them…

I want her happy, she is almost 16 and at what point do we let them determine some of the decisions they will have to make. All this time she kept telling me that she didn’t want to live with daddy, that she just wanted me to go back home.. All of us.

Now she is wanting to be home so bad she is willing to leave me to do it. And if she could have done so this morning, she certainly would have.

Then I come home to Im with Uncle and didn’t even have the chance to tell him what a fucked up morning it had been.

I want my daughter happy and emotionally happy, I want to give her … them, the tools to be better humans than I am. I have some serious faults that are not just out in the open all the time.

but they are there nonetheless, I want my kids to be better than I. To not be damaged goods that can’t be perfect if she wanted to.

At what point am I not responsible for my children happiness, is it when they are old enough to make decisions. Or when they have acquired a few years in the real world. When they are old enough to know right from wrong…

I’m just babbling, I’ve not had anyone to talk to in a while… LOLOL I won’t make a habit of it though.

LIVE instead of being in front of a fuckin’ computer all the time.

This is what I have left of yesterdays list. Some of those things are a lot of work like the demolishing and selvaging of the couch. That may have to be something for discardia time.

I am adding a few things to this list. I don’t expect to get it all done but we will see how much more is accomplished.

move the black table into the living room

dust the corner shelf and the boxes on it

Bring over the little bookshelf

* Put up the little book shelf and fill with the tiny books

* Clean the Tub

* Scrub the sink in the bathroom

* Scrub the toilet {OH joy upon joy’s}

* Mop the bathroom

* Sweep the bath and hall

• Fold all the laundry
  * Demolish the other couch {It’s all about recycle and scavenge}

* Haul away all the declutter junk {it’s all together, but I am getting the truck in the morning}

* Work in the garden {I love it, it sprinkled today, so in the morning it’s garden time}

* Get the truck for the hauling

* visit Dad {this is put off till Sunday}

• Hang with Barbi {this is put off till sunday}
• Beat my kids {what I was just seeing if you was paying attention}

* Take the cart out of the house

* Make a decision

* Hang the other chair piece on the wall

I’ve kinda let my responsibilities here at the house go to tend to my father, then I was sick and just hanging on the computer throughout the day… So today’s “Kick today’s ass!”

* Clean the Tub

* Scrub the sink in the bathroom

• Fold all the laundry
• Demolish the other couch {It’s all about recycle and scavenge}
• Haul away all the declutter junk {it’s all together, but I am getting the truck in the morning}
• Work in the garden {I love it, it sprinkled today, so in the morning it’s garden time}
• Get the truck for the hauling
• visit Dad {this is put off till Sunday}
• Hang with Barbi {this is put off till sunday}
• Beat my kids {what I was just seeing if you was paying attention}

* Take the cart out of the house

* Make a decision

* Hang the other chair piece on the wall

That should do it for today. I may not get all this done but we will see what happens.

• Go to mom and dads {a must MUST}

• Clean the house {again a must do}

• Work in the garden {this is the fun of the day}

• Do laundry {wash and hang it out to dry}

• Fold and put away all the laundry {putting it away is my downfall}

• Spend time resting and reading {Sigh, I don’t wanna but I have no choice about this one}