Have a place to say silly things to Seren whenever the mood strikes me even if they make no sense what-so-ever

It gets old after a while, if just gets fuckin’ old.

It’s now 4:47 and it’s 109 and I am still alive.

Imagine that. Alive I tell you, alive.

cry… cry, cry, cry… owie, cry, cry, cry.

moan, cry, cry, cry, curl up tight as I can, cry …

cry, cry, cry…. whimper… cry.

moan… whimper… cry…

I hate being a girl.

It’s been hardcore on all the Ly’s

LOLOL It’s funny I’m doing a “say silly things to Seren” and I need to talk to you… I’ve been gone each time and missed you calling. I want to talk to you, see how things are going for true.

I got the beads…....OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY WORD you sure did bless me. I am so amazed that the colours were exactly what I was needing for about three projects. I can’t wait to get started.

I think I told you that I was with out my meds for over a week and started going through with-drawl. Well that drama is over with, I got the meds approved. I am so happy. One thing down, 500,000,000,000 more to go.

I’m in a quandary with some other things though. Well see what door of escape or help comes my way.

Oh I was telling you about the beads. Sigh… flighty mind. I’ve been so busy with the meds thing and some stuff going on here at home that I could only play with my beads, I’ve not been able to make anything though.

Hopefully some of this pressure will be off of me and I will be able to sit down and relax long enough to make something. I can’t wait to show you the finished thingy.

Thank you so much honey, this was such a tremendous prize. Thank you just doesn’t seem enough.

Blessings of Light and Love.

It’s weighed down and heavy, LOL other times it is light and don’t think of to many repercussions.

I’ve just got so much on my mind and I kinda just want to run from it. LOL It seems much easier to deal with it all if I could just flippin’ hide for a couple days and get this all processed and figured out.

Sigh… and pffft… and damn.

Overwhelmed… Melt down…

I wish sometimes life was not so fuckin’ funny and gave you answers long before the blasted questions.

I want to cry but I don’t have any tears. I’m not depressed and I have no real reason to be sad. Some would say the period is coming, maybe that is the case. I know a new moon is on it’s way.

Sigh… silliness I’ll just keep faking it till I make it.

I got my pretty. I love it Pyxi, it came yesterday and such a surprise. I am leaving it as is and putting it on my board so that I can see it every day and think of you.

It is me, you did really good listening to your inner voice.
Thank you Darlin’
I love you sweetie

How come parenting is so damn hard?
I don’t need an answer to that. I hear all this lovey stuff about parenting and I think, just how old are your children.

Oh I love my babies so much, every little hair on their heads and I would give my life to and for them. I have given my life to and for them.

Being a single parent is in NO way an easy job, yes it’s made easier with friends who help {or so I remember there were times my friends back home would help and what a blessing that was}

It’s easier when you have siblings and parents to take some of the slack, or help with them or even give them places to escape to when you need time alone

{I am NOW around siblings and parents and they are again blessings to me, but they are busy with their own full lives and families: I can’t ask them for much in the realm of time}

It gets really old making all the decisions and feeling that weight on my already sagging shoulders. I am so over whelmed right now.
Parent stuff just compounded it. I have not been talking about what is going on and then this morning whammm more to deal with.

OH well I am a strong one, isn’t that what most think of… well, LOLOLOL after they think of sensual things, when it comes to me.

I’m just venting, I needed to talk. Every thing is going to be okay. You know how it is, no one wants to be around a Sad Hannah, I gots to put on the happy face and quick.

smile.

I were still back home, sitting in the yard on the softest Kentucky blue grass. Watching the cars go by and listening to the wind sing to me through the trees.