be more positive

I’m still struggling with this, and while I’d like to blame the changes/challenges in my life during the past year for holding me back, aren’t changes and challenges a part of life? A recap: I bought a house, was laid off, found a new job I don’t really like, had a friend move in for a grueling six weeks and a few others I’d rather not share.

I think I’ve been a little depressed. But I’m still trying! Right now, I’m working on the script of my life (meaning, I’m trying to be more positive about the things going on, thus making everyone around me react more positively).

A month in, I find I’m complaining less, I’m choosing to do more things that I like instead of feeling obligated to do things others like and generally feeling a little more “up.”

I have a coworker I dislike, so that tests me everyday, but I’ve also been working to realize why she bothers me so much—and I think it’s the constant refrain of her saying, “I think you should do (fill in the blank).” My grandfather was really negative when I was a kid and put down things I found interesting/fun by starting sentences as, “It would behoove you to (fill in the blank).” My parents encouraged me not to listen to him, but that phrasing has always annoyed me.

Also, I’m buying a house, and I’m finding myself irritated by that process. I think frustration’s a part of life, though, and so far it hasn’t really been getting to me.

I used to be what most people would call an optimist. I never considered myself that, but I definitely had a penchant for looking for and finding the silver lining in situations.

That said, since moving to LA, I seek out the negative, complain, vent, hold grudges and spew a lot of negative talk. I still find the silver lining for those who are down, but don’t do it for myself. I just want to be a little happier and a little more positive about life, where I live and myself.