give my kids what they need

has been to the doc, pretty much because I dragged him there. These kids. He had an h1n1 shot, and asked about ADD meds, which he thinks he needs at this point. He also needs a very intensive drug for acne, so I got him in to a dermatologist’s office tomorrow. And his levi’s are here.

Oh, my. He’s going back to school tomorrow. I will terribly miss him. I’ve never enjoyed him so much in my life. I will so, so miss him!

(yeah. i know. i will survive.)

Who knew you could love kids this much?

yesterday. I was pleased that she called me from her father’s to tell me all about it. She has been told by friends that he’s flirting with others…She’s not sure it’s true, but she’s “done” and doesn’t want to pursue the fledgling relationship anymore.

He was upset when she told him this (via text! oh no) and when he expressed distress, she told him to grow a pair. This from a 14 y/o girl! I told her to measure her words…that boys are more vulnerable than girls…and I was shocked by her seeming detachment.

This is a defense mechanism. I’m guessing she is determined to never be hurt the way her father hurt me…therefore the distance in her relationships and the sharp words. This will not be good for her at all.

I think she heard me about softening some. The trick is to find a way to suggest change without criticizing her, b/c she’s more vulnerable than she lets on.

But it was awfully nice to have her turn to me, so cozily, to talk about her thoughts….

they have returned to their father’s house. My job is to let them be there, keep myself satisfied, and welcome them when they come back.

BOY-CHILD IS HOME! GIRL-CHILD IS HOME! BOY-CHILD’S FRIEND IS HERE. GIRL-CHILD’S FRIEND IS HERE! THANKSGIVING IS COMING!

I’M REALLY, REALLY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!

I’m not feeling well, but I got up to make some chicken soup for dinner. She chattered about the kitchen while I cooked, telling me all about this newest crush of hers. She was wiggly with excitment, too cute for words.

I sure love her. I treasure little moments like this.

is sad because she didn’t have a good audition this morning. So we went and got pedicures.

A good time was had by all.

So today I’m putzing around doing errands, and I check in to Facebook to see how my son is at college.

Turns out, his record indicates, that he’s not at college. He’s here.

I call him. Sure enough, he’s over at his father’s house. He didn’t bother to tell me that he came in town yesterday. It’s a day later, and he still didn’t bother to tell me.

I honestly don’t understand this. I did tell him precisely how this felt. I also told him I was going out tonight, which isn’t true, but I had that innate desire to let him know I wasn’t available 24/7. It’s what girls do when taken advantage of by a man, even their son.

I’m really disturbed because I honestly don’t think he meant to be rude. I think it literally didn’t occur to him what he was doing…that perhaps I would be hurt when I found out he was here and had not called me. I told him VERY clearly how it felt, but I worry about whether he will have what it takes when a girl has the right to ask him to be there for her. This certainly isn’t a good start. And I can honestly say he wasn’t raised this way. It’s a little like he’s just so into himself that it doesn’t occur to him that he has a mother in town. He just gravitates toward the biggest screen TV.

even big guys in college need some treats. I just prepared Son-child his first goodie-bag from home, to be mailed to his dorm room. I had the best time picking things out. They include

candy corn
peeps shaped like pumpkins (his favorites)
beef jerky (b/c he’s a manly man)
pistachios
chex mix
reeses pieces
mixed mini candy bars
bright red horns (yes, I think he will probably wear them. They are smallish, and he enjoys the absurd)
orange pumpkin lights for his dorm room door
a Halloween pez (again, his favories)
a gift certificate for $25 in downloaded music (he ADORES making his own DCs)

I’m so excited and hope he loves the attention!

A new one has been paying her some attention. She is all wiggly like a little puppy when she talks about him. We have thoroughly discussed whether they are in fact boyfriend-and-girlfriend, what would give them that status, whether or not he is marriage material, what to do if he tried to kiss her, how to get him to clarify the status of their relationship, and what to do if the OTHER boy asks her out, too.

I had forgotten that there were so many rules to this game to be learned!

Son-child emailed me pix from his first college football game Friday, and girl-child has been intermittently in touch this week. I wonder when they will realize how much this means to me.