Being socially embedded in a network of folks is a changing process, something that evolves. But I think I can safely say I’ve done this, at least for the moment. There is a network of office people that I know and trust—coworkers, employees, students. There is a larger professional network of people I’ve known and now are back in touch with. And there are people I know I can become friends with with some additional effort. This is really progress!
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Sherlock has written 13 entries about this goal
with a few of my buddies regularly. Makes me feel great!
Such ridiculous excitment! A couple I know from work just called and asked me to go to a roping (as in cowboys for you Northerners!) compitition! This is major progress. So is the fact that I am going to DITCH the afternoon of works I had planned and GO!
Lady of Manx, be proud of me!
Actually signed up for a Bible study last night on female friendship. I’m hoping that I find a few folks there to be friends with. But alas, I got home late and was wired, which messed up my sleep goal.
I want to manufacture more hours in the day. At random. Just a few, just when I need them, I swear….
Wow. I made progress on this over the last 6 months without realizing it. I was thinking about the people I’m grateful for while I was driving home from work today. I’ve gotten closer to some colleagues this year—Bill and H.L and Richard. I’ve enjoyed spending time with a network of women professionals—Jennifer, Betty, Maureen. And then there are some younger friends—Mollie and Susan and Carrie and H.
This has evolved while I wasn’t looking, probably an effect of my gradually feeling better and better. They are not like the intense friendships of my college years….but they are friends, nonetheless. No one has time to burn at this phase in life. But it’s a good sign to be enjoying people again.
Had lunch with another professional woman I greatly respect. She went through a divorce, too, and was willing to share with me some. I enjoyed her tremendously, and thought, what a nice pleasure, to enjoy going to lunch with someone again!
Oh, my! A friend in sight! Had lunch with one of the speakers for my class. Talked about how hard it is as an adult to make friends, to keep up with people….she has the same problem. We go to the same church. We have the same profession, live in the same neighborhood, and both like opera. I’m so excited I can hardly stand myself. Maybe if I expend some energy I can actually make a friend! How cool is that?!
So, for the 2nd week in a row, I slept through Sunday school. Bummer. BUT Wednesday night a new class is starting. All I have to do is go to class. It’ll be good.
It’s a month later, and I’ve just become more isolated. It feels sometimes like I’m becoming invisible, unable to shake myself out of this depression or whatever it is. I feel like I’m coasting, unable to get in gear. I need to get in gear. So—1 social thing. This week. Of my choice. Working at home is making me weirder. Not good.
Ok, to do this, I have to let go of some things. Like overwork. I honed down my list today, so that I will focus on these first 2 things.
Was feeling pretty good about the work I did earlier in the week on organizations I may be interested in…. and then yesterday, I received a letter from my worksite refusing to make the disability accommodations I requested.
I requested them after talking with my doc about how much I’m working. This just isn’t feasilbe, and with help, I could work smarter.
I was really devastated to get that letter. I can sue them, of course, and I would be right, but I don’t have it in me to take on another battle now. Not with the pain I’m dealing with now.
So, I couldn’t sleep last night, couldn’t ride, had trouble concentrating today….and I’m still at the office on a Friday night, trying to pull it together to go home. I hurt. I wonder if I would be better off on disability instead of trying to make this work. I wonder if I’m being too “soft” on myself in asking for this. I don’t know how I will manage now, on my own.