be happy and make my family happy

... I had such a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and awwwwwwwwwwwwwful case of blues – I couldn’t do anything!!

BLAH!

She fell apart….

The kids, her job, and – worst of all – mine …

I’ve been SO bogged crazy by the attempts of my organization to deal (somewhat, somehow) with the CRISIS, that I now have a crisis of my own…

... today – feeling SOOOO down, and for no obvious reason!!

... she is having a tough time at work, trying to get things done AND set things up so others can fill in when she’s on leave, AND she has terrible backache because of the pregnancy, AND I’ve had such a busy/crazy time at work (‘though I left work early twice this week , in the middle of it all, just to hold her hand and help out) AND our house-hunting isn’t going anywhere and there’s not much room for the expected addition AND, AND, AND, .....

WHEW!!

We’re veeeerrrrry lucky, but still – it’s not easy….

NOT AT ALL…

I think I might acctually be doing a little better at this…

The key is to “let go”. I also find more patience to listen to the kids.

But – I’m not kidding myself. There still is a way to go.

Sometimes I fell like pushing “restart” on so many of my “programs”. I coulda shoulda done better…

just plodding along…

... didn’t do anything serious about this yet.

my wife, my love, my life -

... well, she had some pretty harsh things to say about this…

My overall anxiety/insecurity/tension/feeling “down” – is having a bad effect on the rest of my family.

So yesterday I came home early, made dinner, sang with the kids in their beds.

It helped some.

Might set an appointment with the shrink.

but today I’m feeling reallllly low….

Yesterday afternoon my wife got a “lawyer letter” about something soooo stupid, and relating to something about which she was soooo right, from people we once considered friends, and who are now worried about $150 they don’t deserve – worried enough to go to a lawyer!
She told me about the letter the minute she saw it, but I didn’t immediatly realize how it effected her. By the time I came home from work (late again…) she was shaking from head to toe – not so much from rage as from “lawyer panic”!! (“what’re they going to do to me”??)! And this from someone who is married to a lawyer (well, I’m sort-of a lawyer)...
The big kids took this situation pretty bad, and each in turn had a fit about a different pending crises in their lives (I have to admit, these are real issues – being a teen isn’t easy; it’s just that the general atmosphere induced extreme reactions).
Anyway, today I cancelled my morning meetings and so did she, and we sat toghether and went through the numbers and reciepts, and then wrote a fitting response (the idea in these situations is to write in undertone; my experience is that when someone is both angry and wrong that tone usualy drives them crazy).
And now I get to the point: after all was said and done, I asked my love why she gets so worked up by this type of thing.
Her response: “I fell like such a failure. I can’t keep my papers straight, and my husband and kids just aren’t happy”.
This, of course, got me thinking.
And now THE question: How do I turn this into an achievable goal?
This, my friends, is a big one…