stop and smell the roses

easier said then done, but lately, i have been taking a closer look at what i worry about.

and the majority of what i worry about, i also have very little control over. all i can do is just do my best and keep on going. what will or is about to happen, most times, will happen regardless of what i do.

i really need to manage my stress more. because if i don’t, i fear it will handicap me, make me clinically depressed or even kill me. and then, i would be good to no one.

last night, i had a choice… turn the lights off and go to bed…

or take a midnight bath.

i took the latter. and thank goodness i did. the warmth of the water completely put me at bliss. for that moment, nothing else seemed to matter.

the window was slightly open to let in the cool, september air. the only thing missing were candles.

of which i will include tonight!

i think camping came at the right time.

the weeks leading up to it seemed to have just gotten busier and busier. i was running out of free time to enjoy the remaining summer days…

camping was filled with moments where i just let go and enjoyed the moment for what it was. we followed no real schedule, asside from making sure that the children ate at decent times, and making sure we had dinner and cleaned up before dusk (as that was when the misquitos came out).

we had no real plan of what we were going to do the next day. everything sort of just… flowed.

i think my favourite moments were sitting at the rocky beach… just looking out into the water.

how often do i get to sit infront of a large body of water like that?

not very often. not often enough.

sometimes, my days are so busy, that the one thing that gives me a break are my after dinner walks with chaeli.

we walk just around our neighbourhood, through the three different phases of our townhome community.

both chaeli and i like to admire other people’s gardens. chaeli looks for garden ornaments… often, she pulls me towards a certain direction and exclaims, “froggie, mommy! we go see froggie!”

i often stop at certain locations to let her stomp in a patch of clover… or pick wile flowers to bring home.

sometimes, we talk to one another… me asking her how her day went. and what she had done. other times, i just listen to her babble on. and then there are other times we sing together… her latest being fave being ‘you are my sunshine.’

keeping my fingers crossed that the weather will be nice enough for a stroll together (and doug, as he is off today) to the library tonight.

i’ve had such a busy last two weeks. maybe three weeks, even? who knows. at this pace, time itself has to catch up to me!

saturday morning, i refused to waste such a beautiful day. chaeli and i got our things together as fast as we could, after breakfast, and scooted out the door.

i took her to the zoo… knowing full well that it would be packed. but we got there just after the zoo had opened it’s gates. parking was easy… just four spots away from the walkway to the main entrance.

this time… after deciding which path to take (left or right), i let chaeli lead me. she pulled at my arm towards the pavillion she wanted to see… she stopped at where ever she was interested in checking out…

as for me? i just hung back and let myself to be lead. for once.

chaeli guided me to the first pavillion… the indo-malayan woods. inside, she was excited to see all the exotic butterflies, flying freely around us.

she told me take photos of them. and so… i did:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/shyeyes/sets/72157594201588996/

last night, i stayed in chaeli’s room while doug read to her and sung to her before putting her down in her crib.

she was so tired, that instead of fussing when doug put her down, she looked up and said, “thank you, daddy.” minutes later, she was out.

i walked over to the crib where doug was standing. putting my arms around his waist, we stood there in a semi-embrace while we watched our daughter snooze away.

while chaeli watched Max & Ruby (what she sees in that show i’ll never know) before bathtime, i found myself lying down on our bed, looking out of our large bay window.

i realized, just then, that trees that were bare only a little while ago, were green and lush! and so much taller then last year!

there was a slight breeze as the branches swayed a little. the window was open and i could hear the rustling of the leaves in the wind.

it was a breath-taking sight. i rarely enjoy nature anymore… and often forget that it can be found right out the window, most times.

as an added bonus, this morning, not too long after breakfast, i took my mug of coffee over to our sliding, kitchen door. after sliding it open, i breathed in the spring air. it was raining but the air was refreshing and slightly crisp, yet not cold at all.

the steam from my coffee rose and vanished through the screen door.

ahh… what a great feeling!

today, we took chaeli to the small park across the street. with a kite in tow, she happily walked with us, knowing full well something new and exciting was about to happen.

i found myself a shady patch of grass to cop a squat.

in the near distance, i watched as chaeli jumped up and down in excitement as the wind swept the kite upwards.

my family. i thought to myself. there they are.

i noticed chaeli’s small body, compared to doug’s beside her. she is so little. but so full of life!

for a moment, i completely let go of everything else and just enjoyed the vision of father and daughter… flying a kite.

even when she got upset at something and started to cry out, “mommy! mommy!” i couldn’t help but to smile.

for one day, i know that i will not hear that little voice anymore. one day, that little voice will sound so much older… and all this before me will be a memory.

what better day to relax then mother’s day.

no roses to smell though – but i did get a pretty, red carnation. plus oodles of craft made by chaeli from her class.

we went to my parent’s place for brunch. doug and i packed a box of things we needed to make quiche (two kinds). i figured it would be easier to make them while my parents played with chaeli. otherwise, chaeli would want to help and everything would be much slower and more aggravating.

we ended up with a crab quiche and a spinach-feta quiche, plus a goat feta and roasted red pepper spring salad. it was lovely. and somewhat on the lighter side.

after we ate, the sun started to peek out a little. we decided to all take advantage of the weather, and got ourselves ready for a stroll.

what a nice stroll that was. it was probably my favourite part of the day. just to walk with my family while chaeli toddled with us, pointing at all the different things she saw and chattering with excitement.

as we push forward with our ‘attack the clutter’ project, i took a moment or two to make some herbal tea, turn on some tunes…

and just sit there. in our office. it’s not completely done as we have to dive into our drawers and closets next, but the surfaces is mostly, now, clutter-free and clean.

aaaaahhh! it was a nice break.