make eddie izzard laugh

So Eddie Izzard has undertaken a charity run that would put Forrest Gump to shame. Over an eight week period he will run a marathon on six days out of the seven. It’s absolutely mental. In truth he has either succeeded or failed by now as i saw him do the first few weeks on tv the other day.
Given that his feet and legs were in pieces I think my goal of making him laugh is getting less likely.
Laughed myself when it turned out after several days that his re-fueling snack of choice was ice-cream!

.. to have fallen off the end of the world. Where is he? No doubt he’s still being funny somewhere.. just not in public.

I have decided to take a more pro-active approach to this goal. I am writing a sketch show with a friend of mine. All we have to do is write a killer tv comedy show and get it broadcast on british tv. Then wait a couple of months to give Eddie a chance to see it. Then, through my new found tv comedy contacts, get his number, ring him up and ask him he if he saw the show. If he did; ask him if it made him laugh… like once. If he didn’t see it send him a copy of it and wait for the reaction. Simple really.
My favourite idea so far is the vet who puts down little kids pets with a shotgun….. I swear, its hilarious.

Last week i had a dream that i was in animated conversation with Eddie Izzard. I was being terribly funny and he was laughing himself silly. I suddenly realised that i had achieved this goal, so Of course i told him immediately, which was a huge mistake. He got terribly offended and walked off in a huff muttering about my being a shallow and decietful person. I in turn was distraught that my moment of triumph had turned so suddenly to ashes.
Speaking of comedy themed dreams, a friend of mine, Karen, once woke from a dream where she had heard the funniest joke in the world…ever! Fortunately she had the presence of mind to get out of bed, find a pen and paper and write it down before she fell asleep again and forgot it. The next morning she went straight for the piece of paper, hoping that she hadnt simply dreamed writing down the funniest joke in the world…ever. She hadn’t. There it was lokking up at her. It read;
“I am a hammer”

I cant believe it. Ive been working with Sonya since early June and she scoots off straight after work on wednesdays because shes taking part in this new-stand-up comedian competition. Shes got to the semi-finals and if she wins she gets to do a support slot at the Olympia theatre as part of the Dublin Comedy festival.
Anyway, on her comedic travels she once met Eddie Izzard and she made him laugh. She said it wasnt a joke or anything, just some mundane comment and it was more polite “I know what you mean” laughter than “you’re hilarious” laughter…but still! Damn, my goal feels so much less original now. I would even say, sullied. But at least i have a good tip for when i eventually bump into him. All i have to do is make idle chit-chat and i’ll have him rolling in the aisles.

very funny tonight and everyone laughed. If only Eddie Izzard had been there.

I’m in a strange situation at the moment where i have to make people laugh as part of my job. Never mind Eddie Izzard, I’d settle for anyone at this point. Its bloody hard being funny.

the father of a close friend of mine is very ill at the moment and has been having all sorts of unpleasant tests done. Last week he had a doctor inserting a digit where digits shouldnt go. He asked the doc if he could put another finger in. Naturally this rather surprised the doctor; “Why?”, he asked
“I’d like a second opinion”, my friends dad replied.
Comedy under pressure, I love it.

I was at work last week and because things were behind I ended up hanging around for ever with Gertrude, who I work with. We were outdoors, it was sunny and Gertrude happened to have a bouncy ball which she bought at a gum machine for 50 cents. I dont know why but bouncy balls are hilarious. It just keeps boucing like a mad bouncy thing. I cried laughing. I will carry one with me in case i ever meet Eddie Izzard and cant think of a joke.

At one of the jobs i do you get picked up by a car when they need you. Very swish, I know. This morning i got picked up by a driver I knew from last year; “Hello Dominic”, I said as i got in the car. We chatted away for the half hour drive and as i got out i noticed that the name tag on the dash said Michael. Damn, I could have sworn his name was Dominic. “See ya, Michael”, I said, hoping to correct my mistake. “Ah no”, he says, “michaels the name on my birth certificate, its not the name i use”. “I KNEW your name was Dominic”, I said. “The name tag confused me. Well, all the best Dominic”
His name is Dermot.
True story, Eddie. You can use it if you want.