Be in a healthy relationship

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

(Thank you Frank Herbert!)

I needed a littany. When life is hard, when love is hard, I need to remember why I’m on this path in the first place. Love is beautiful and magical and worth the pain and suffering along the way. The point is to move past those points. It’s not timed game. You just need to get more out of it than you put into it. And when you give love freely and beautifully and without expectations it is returned to you in many ways many times over. I want to love without fear, to love with wanton abandon and without regret. I want to love without hurting myself or others. I want to love with the whole of who I am. I want to be consumed, to be created. I want to become love.

There are so many things I never learned about love when I was growing up.

I’m looking forward to being in a relationship where

1. I acknowledge that my own happiness and well being is my responsibility and not anyone else’s.
2. If I’m not getting what I want and need from a relationship today, I’ll remember that the chances are quite slim that that will change tomorrow.
3. I’ll remember to talk about anything that’s bothering me or anything I don’t understand that my partner is doing.
4. I’ll try to remember that my partner is doing the best they can at any given point, and it’s up to me to decide whether their best is something I can live with.