be less sensitive

I don’t know why I feel compelled to write about this under the banner of being sensitive. But I think there’s a point to be made.

I was spending some time with my fiance last night.
And we somehow got into that high five game that kids (and adults) play.

You know the one.

Someone says: “Give me 5”..and you hit their hand.
Then they say “on the side”..
Then they say “down below” etc..

Well when we got to the “you’re too slow” bit, she removed her hand too quickly.
Now, normally my reaction would be to say

“Hey. Let me try again”.
Or say “but you moved your hand too fast”..
Or, say, “hey that’s not fair”.

What do these responses really say about a person. I think they say that:
“I am taking this little game seriously”. “I don’t like losing”.
...
And most importantly
“I don’t like looking like an idiot that can’t hit your hand in time”

Instead of shouting out something like the above i.e. something that would be a hyper sensitive response, instead, I said something else. Something that was uncconcious. And something that got the nicest reaction.

I said “Ohh noooo!!!!!” in a kid’s voice as I missed her hand on the way down.
And she loved it. Not because she observed that I wasn’t being sensitive. The example is too subtle.
But because it made me human. The response played along with the spirit of the game and made it more fun. I loved my response and so did she.

Its a tiny example that illustrates how, if we can modify our response to something, we can feel and appear more real and genuine to other people. I think being sensitive can be a good thing. But we need to choose when it is appropriate to be sensitive to a comment or situation and when it isn’t.
:-)

I’m male, 34, in a relationship. Engaged actually. And hyper-sensitive. To the point where I actually indulge in it.

I wonder whether people that are over sensitive also exhibit another group of behaviours. I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I think by understanding the condition better, it might help me deal with it better.

Here’s the behavioural grouping I was thinking about.

You like helping others.
You under value your own abilities and over elevate other people’s abilities
You have low self esteem.
You surround yourself mostly with people who in comparison aren’t as successful, or as good looking as you.
You prefer your own company to others.
You CONSTANTLY reject love from other people.

Can anyone else relate? I’d be interested to get feedback.