simpler21 is doing 9 things including…

learn to flirt

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simpler21 has written 7 entries about this goal

Had a moment and blew it.

Dear Flirt Team, how are you all? Brilliant to see people continually posting up their stories, successful or otherwise. We’re in this together right?!! For better or for worse! We may not be the world’s best flirters, but we do try!!

So after what feels like a few months hiatus from this goal, here’s my latest contribution to go along with yours.

This afternoon. I enquired about a spanish fiesta night taking place at a local restaurant in a few days time.
I stood by the entrance waiting for a waiter or waitress to come up. Whilst doing so, I caught the eye of the very cute (glasses wearing) manager. She gave me a smile whilst serving some other customers. I waited. She eventually came over. I asked about the details about the fiesta night taking place later that week.

Lots of eye contact, lots of smiling. Even a hint of her invading my personal space.

She said whilst smiling that I should come along to the fiesta night! I responded (with a serious maybe even concerned look on my face) saying “so just to be clear, its not an event for little kids then”.
She quickly averted her eyes to some other customers, started walking backwards saying professionally but politely, “You can bring your kids too if you like”....

She returned back to her restaurant.
I don’t have kids.
I could have asked any other question.
I asked that one.

Right, you see the things is…These occurrences hardly ever happen to me. So when they do, I get bewitched by the circumstances and say and do things to put the other person off.

I’m crap at this!!!!
But…BUT! I did have a small moment for a second there.



Things I do wrong

I just reailised that I am way too keen on first impressions. I’m a tactile guy and think nothing of putting my hand on someone’s arm. However not once, but twice in the last 2 weeks, girls have rejected this. When I don’t want someone to get the “wrong” idea I will create distance, or sit back in my chair
and not smile as much.
When I am being myself, I lean forward, listen attentively, smile like a gibbon on heat, and touch her arm so much you’d think there was a winning lottery ticket stuck to it.

I think I need to find a half way house between being too distant and being too overbearing!!

HELP!!



3 weeks of learning to flirt

Flirt Team, I have been trying. That’s all I’m going to say. I have been really trying. Anyway, I appreicate that 43 things is a bit like spying on someone else’s life and so for your pure and voyeuristic pleasure here’s an update.

Have had 2 dates since my previous post with different women.
Don’t get carried away just yet. Read on amigos.

Date 1: I couldn’t have chosen a worse subject to flirt with. All my attempts subtle and not so subtle were met with very straight responses. At one point I even said, “you do know I’m FLIRTING with you”. She replied, “I don’t flirt”

Great.

Date 2: Total opposite. From first phone call she was like “So what makes you tick”. Very attractive on the phone. She appreciated my cheesy attempts at flirting back. We met 3 times and she was quite nervous at first. I was able to put her at ease and by the end saw glimpses of the person who I was able to talk freely with on the phone. As I built a clearer picture of who she was I decided I didn’t really like her but like an idiot responded to her flirty signals.

Outcome
Date 1: She called me and said she’d rather be friends. Which I was really glad about and we had a nice chat about it after.

Date 2: I called it off but shouldn’t have led her on in the weeks after our meeting.

Shall not complain, haven’t had this much to write about on this subject for flippin ages! But I do know that flriting with someone who you don’t really like is not a good idea.

Simpler



Date! Then No Date!

Flirt Team,
I had a date arranged with one of the speed date matches for Saturday. We spoke twice during the week, most recently Thursday. On Fri, I went and got my haircut and stuff because I wanted to look good for our date etc. On Fri night at 23:50 I received a text saying she couldn’t make it with a bit of a muddled explanation why. Which basically came down to that “she was busy”.

After calling her back to hear her reasoning, I said to her “don’t worry its ok. Another time perhaps”.
That’s it, ball is in her court now right?

Not going to dwell on this. Move on! Life is good, I’ll put this one down to bad timing!



Results back from speed dating

After ticking 7 boxes, I got 5 matches! I ticked off anyone that seemed remotely interesting. But nevertheless I was really surprised that I got 5 matches.

So assuming everyone knows how this works, I emailed all 5 of them (not in the same email obviously) saying Hi again and tried to make each one a little specific so that it showed I remembered who they each were. Because I did.

Of the 5 matches, 3 have yet to respond. It has only been 2 days though.

1 responded claiming not to remember me at first! But now does recall. And she has given me her phone number.
And with another we have already talked on the phone once and hopefully I will talk to her again during the week. Hope I won’t be too nervous! I am even going to try and flirt with her over the phone. Will let you know how it all goes.

That’s it for now. Hasta luego!



To Tristan - Elevator Stories

Your posts are brilliant. I’ve learnt a lot just reading through your posts and everyone else’s responses.

Is there a team for this?
I’m in my 30s and although I could moan and complain about not being able to flirt for…I dunno…another 10 years, perhaps it might be an idea to start learning now.

Eye contact. Right, I think I need to start there…
Will try and post some news (good, bad or indifferent) on this site soon.

:)



Cant Flirt - Am I doomed?

Hi there, writing this to get some sort of insight and equally to get it off my chest…So this is part moaning and partly genuinely how I feel…
My usual trigger for feeling sorry for myself is lack of success with women. Its no different this time. I went to a speed date in London, came away feeling more demoralised than before. Had fairly little to say to most of the 30 odd girls I met there. Felt like I was being tolerated by most of the girls there, despite complimenting a number of them. I tried to be intriguing and say interesting stuff and relax and be myself, but I’m not sure whether I can do this flirting thing. After the speed date you mingle with everyone. And I remembered one girl in particular as she was really nice and chatty and I went over to her as I enjoyed our silly chat. Sadly she had completely forgotten who I was and insisted I was making our encounter up. I dismissed that and later plucked up the courage to talk to someone else and after a little easy going chat I asked : “I’d quite like to see you again”…and she said…hmmm…maybe…(missing out the “if you’re lucky pal”). And walked off. She ignored me the rest of that evening.

To make it worse, I saw a friend of mine later making out with some stranger as I was about to leave. Just felt so alone in that instant. Stupid really.

Its now 1.30am and I feel like this speed dating evening has been a waste of time. I’ve learnt little about myself and am going to be tired for work the next day and I have eaten half a pizza after 1am and missed my training run….For what??!!!



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