I’ve had this goal around for quite some time, yet had not written an entry until now.
A few years ago, I was working and really feeling uninspired and unfulfilled. It was really affecting my emotional state.
When I added this goal, I felt like this site in itself actually helped me to reconnect with myself a bit.
When I have had to identify certain values over the past few years, one of the first things often seemed to be freedom. I think in many ways I have felt stuck, limited by timing or lack of finances or circumstances or my own fears and uncertainties.
In a few months, I will reach a point once again where I could do something. And unlike in the past, I may have the means to do so. But, like the past, I’m not sure what it is I should do. There is a world of possibilities and so many things to consider that I am frozen and unable to make a move. It’s not a good feeling.
I feel it’s so important to nourish those parts of myself that are waiting to be tapped into, to nurture the things that interest me, to challenge myself, for my own sense of wellbeing and to be a better partner and in general be better for those around me.
The sad part is feeling I am sometimes waiting for my life to start. I feel I need to do something different, just to try, to break out of this sort of rut I’m in, to get the ball rolling. But the idea of having only one opportunity (even though this idea may be false) and trying to think of what I want to do most makes it difficult and can be overwhelming. I end up without any real clarity, unable to make a decision and watching the chance pass me by without any change.
I think about when I was younger, how I used to wander and explore and I think that’s one of the parts I would like to reconnect with.
One of the things I would like to do is travel. The where is always the tricky part and so is the how because I often want to do more than just visit a place. I want to be able to live somewhere for a while.
I think I need to write things down – things that interest me and inspire me. I don’t know if I will come any closer to figuring things out but it’s worth a try.