Envision 2012

“What do you want to do in 2012?”

Learn to play blackjack well.

I’m just in the beginning of my learning, so it’s hard to tell whether I’ll enjoy it enough in the end to put a lot of time and effort into it, but if I do, I’d like to learn to play really well during 2012, and learn to understand the math behind it properly.

“What do you want to do in 2012?”

Have the performance level of an athlete again. Not for competitions; just for me.

Feeling physically strong and “invincible” is one of the best things I know and it has a huge positive impact on how I feel about my psychological abilities and ability to survive through anything as well. One of the most difficult aspects of losing my health was losing this side of myself, and although the first step is to get my health back, I hope to work on this second step very soon, too. I really can’t wait to feel like an athlete again.

“What do you want to do in 2012?”

Hike the Appalachian Trail. 3510 kilometers (or 2181 miles), about six months of hiking.

I think it’ll be one of those life changing experiences, and life changing possibly in ways I can’t even imagine beforehand. In fact I’m consciously trying not to decide beforehand what it will be for me so that I’d be able to simply go, be present, and let it be what it is. Although a hike like that is extremely demanding physically, I think most of the lessons learned will be psychological.

“What do you want to do in 2012?”

After having had the orange banner stare at me for several days now, I thought why not reflect on this subject here. I think I’ll reflect a bit on it every day until 2011 comes to an end… I won’t stress about what I’ve written here and won’t beat myself up if I don’t accomplish everything I wanted (I’ve a tendency to overestimate what one can do in a year), but it could still be helpful to have a vision on what I’d like to achieve during 2012.

So what do I want to do in 2012? Who do I want to be in 2012?

Lots of things. In fact, I’d like to be able to mark the majority of my current goals done during 2012. But most of all I want to get healthy… nothing else comes even close in importance. Even if it took me all year to accomplish that and I didn’t do anything else, it’d be the best year of my life.

Although I decided not to write about my health here, I make an exception now just to reflect on what the situation is right now: it’s pretty bad. If anything, my health situation has been worsening over the course of these past few weeks, or at least it hasn’t improved. However, I feel strongly that I’m coming very close to finding a solution, or even might have found it already. I’m certain that when I’m reading this one year from now in 2012, my situation has completely changed and definitely for the better. There have been dozens of pieces I’ve had to find to this puzzle, and there are still a few pieces missing… but I’m certain I’m going to find them during 2012.

I’ll write about my other goals for 2012 later, but most of them will be in the “How awesome it’d be to accomplish this!” category. “Radiate health, energy and well-being” is pretty much the only goal in the category of truly important, meaningful and urgent things I not only want to do, but have to do.

I’m really looking forward to 2012. 2011 has been an okay year and I’m going to make the most of what’s still left of it, but I think 2012 will be even better :)