be more confident

Alright, so I had this real bitch of a customer the other day who had an epic rant at me over the myriad ways I’d apparently mistreated her while she was in the store. I was completely baffled because none of it was true and I’d been as polite and helpful with her as I am with all my customers. Cos I’m nice like that.

Anyway all I could do was say I was very sorry if I had offended her in some way, but I hadn’t a clue what I’d done wrong. I was fuming and nearly told her where to go, but realised she probably wanted me to react like that. So I was just super nice, smiled, while clearly implying she was being ridiculous. She was a very angry woman who was clearly looking for a fight, and I wasn’t going to give her one.

I was actually pretty upset because I do pride myself on being a nice person in general and I’m great with my customers – I would never dream of being rude like that. I couldn’t get my head round her behaviour. However (yes there is relevance in this story!) I think my reaction was professional, smart and confident (see, relevence!). Screw the miserable old bint, I’m awesome!

Nothing like a super unflattering photo to knock your confidence! UNTAGGED

Actually went ok. There was a lot of overly-confident, gobby people there, but I stuck to the guys I knew from work, and after a couple of hours of being a little uncertain I relaxed, had a bit of a dance and a laugh :) and I wasn’t even drunk! It wasn’t really my kind of night out, but the point is I went out of my comfort zone and survived :D

Going on a 21st night out with some people from work, who while I get on with at work perfectly fine, I have never hung out with outside of work. So, a little nervous. Almost made some excuse, but realised that I’m always complaining I don’t go out as much as I’d like, and I never will if I always turn down invitations just because of nerves. Who knows, I might even enjoy myself ;)

I had an interview today, and don’t feel it went great. Don’t get me wrong, it was hardly a disaster but… I dunno. I was feeling so cool about it up until I actually sat down. I got that nervous ‘floaty’ feeling and could feel sweat trickling down my back (to be fair to me, it is a verrrry hot day). I don’t feel I picked the best examples in answer to their questions, but I really did try. It’s only my second interview for a non-retail job so I’m still in unfamiliar waters. I also forgot to bring a piece of ID required which made me want to kick myself so hard, but they said I could fax it to them. That’s good of them, but really it’s another reason not to hire me. I’m not even that bothered about the job, I’m just really disappointed in my continuing lack of confidence, and sick of the effort it takes to fake it.

I think one thing I can do to improve my self confidence is stop fretting about what happened in my past. I feel sometimes as though I dwell too much on silly or embarrassing things I did years ago, or bad things that happened to me, and it intrudes on the present and makes me think I’m just gonna repeat myself. It’s like I’m still the shy, awkward 15 year old crippled by depression and anxiety. I need to convince myself that I’ve become a healthy, happier 23 year old, with lots of great things in my life, and lots to offer the world :)

Had a group interview yesterday, which among other things involved pairing up and roleplaying – in front of everyone – a customer/sales assistant scenario. Basically to prove your selling skills to the interviewers. Well, mine went on the longest and I didn’t falter once! This is with no rehearsing, and I hate public speaking (never mind acting) and I’m so, so impressed with myself! Apparently, so were the interviewers, because I got a job :D Just as I was feeling I was rubbish at interviews too; this is a massive confidence booster for me.

Today I finally got pissed off enough to ask the noisy people in our building to turn their stupid-loud music down… I hate confrontations, especially with strangers, so I’m really proud of myself! Feeling a little more confident in myself now :)