Come up with 43 Puns (that ARE intended)

We are playing poker, and being all cute and what-not she leans over and shows the table fan that is next to her, her cards. Says, “What do you think?”
and i say…..
“He’s your number one Fan”

And she smacks me with the sheet playing around or whatever she was doing, i cannot really remember now. But she hits me in the face with the sheet, and i grab my face and say “You smacked the sheet outta me”
She was freaking ROLLIN around laughing her ass off!
:o)

in Vegas, and of course i didnt write them down so they were lost in my mind of lost jokes and “things to do”.
This totally should have been filled up and Then Some by now.

were cold, and she said i almost made her pee.
“I would have been pissed!” i replied.
lol.
well…..if she did i would have had to change my sheets…not cool i tell you..not cool!

A friend decided to tell me that his son was taking a POOP for about 10 minutes. “He just finished. It smells”. Telling the story to my bestest, after stating his comment. I say “thanks for the info, I’ll have to LOG that one.”

quite a few lately.. but since im a burnout i cant remember them. I’d like to say that i probably should be on at least 20 right now. awww well.

So misty is talking about her cat freakin out on a leaf. that damn cat just keeps attacking it, and shes laughing and calling her an idiot. So i say, “leaf her alone”
she goes fine. Didnt even realize i said it… shes slackin in her old age.
ducks

See entry for the goal “Not cheat”.

Tiger woods golf….
SO were playing right.. and i almost hit a squirrel with my ball and she goes “you almost knocked out that squirrel” and i go “Then he would be nuts”
Thank you thank you…takes a bow
She cried over that one!

All i can say is….
“I dont eat red meat”

That shit was HILARIOUS!!!!