not be angry and sad

feel so damn alone today.actually been feeling like this for a while now,i hope it goes away i hate feeling like this.

am i a loser?
thts what my father was implying to me today,it just breaks my heart.i will never be good enough for him.he will never be proud of me no matter wht i do,so why do i even bother?i just end up hurting myself.
i knw he loves me but god, does he knw how to hurt me!the things he says just rip my heart out.why do i bother?he will never be happy with me.he is so cruel.i was so happy today because i am going for a training camp with my Aiesec friends.and then he comes along and tells me what crappy loser i am.i can never be like my sister.and thts what i want to make clear to everyone i am not my perfect sister.i do not want to be her.i am me.
it is not like he is perfect,its not like he has been there.
where was he when i was raped?why does he treat my mother like shit?why is he so judgemental?
fuck him.
he is the loser.

http://www.ndtv.com/template/template.asp?id=18914&template=Varanasiblasts&callid=0&frmsrch=1&txtsrch=blasts+in+varanasi
it is one of the holiest hindu religious sites in india
who could do such a despicable thing..
i mean this is a direct attack on Hindus,i feel sad and hurt,why would anyone want to bomb a temple?
even here in bombay to get into the biggest temples people at times have to go through metal detectors to get in.all this in my country.in my home,i have to go thru security to get into a temple.
what has the bloody world come to.i don’t want to point fingers but everyone is pretty sure about who has done this.
these attacks are just a few days before the biggest of hindu festivals – Holi,all this because a bunch of sick minded people want communal disharmony in india.
but its obvious they do not know what India is made of,we will survive this just as we have always survived everything else.
a bunch of muslims who hate hindus cannot divide India anymore.