For a little over a month, I’ve had the goal Manifest an amazing studio apartment I can afford.
I had some very specific ideas of what I was looking for, and some very big abstractions. But the key thing was that I was determined to will it into existance as much as I actively went out to search for it.
And while the full synopsis of how that panned out is in the entries on the goal, it was also new and fufilling in a way I would never have anticipated. It ended up being easy—something I never would have expected.
I don’t want to attribute the good fortune that led to this apartment hunt success all to my positive thinking, but it was pretty miraculous that the two came together so nicely, that I was able to sit back and say “I create this apartment by the power of my searching for it” and have it actually come to me as if created on demand and specifically for me.
It was a very full month. I’m not sure how much I’ll get down in this space.
- Graduating from my MFA program. Definitely new, fufilling. I think more exciting to me than the degree or the award is just knowing that my creative thesis will sit, for all times and ever, in their thesis library. It’s a little like being published… maybe…
- Ending my relationship of five years. I had never before been the one to end something. It was such a relief to look deep into my soul, find what I was really wanting in the world, and then to take action on it.
- Designing my “dream house”. I spent the weekend while I was in Philly just daydreaming about what my ideal estate would look like. Being as I have an mild love of architecture, it’s definitely something I would have to have built from scratch, rather than being able to convert an existing building, but oh how fufilling to dream!
- Going to a sleep spa. It might seem totally rediculous. But sleep ranks so high in my priorities, the idea of doing that in a wonderful every-need-met, perfectly-relaxing setting was totally worth it.
- Recognizing that I don’t have to internalize every bit of crap that is thrown at me.
What I wanted for my April new and fufilling was to finish my thesis. Instead, that ended up happening in May (I have many N+Fs for May, woohoo)
My april thing ended up being something I couldn’t talk about for a while. It was (a) when I decided that the person I wanted to be in my life wasn’t compatable with the future I was envisioning with my partner and (b) when I realized that being who I wanted to be was more important to me than being the kind of person who would be happy in that relationship.
Even though it didn’t look like anything, and there was no thing to report on, deciding “it’s okay to be who I want to be” was a huge step for me. Totally new. Stressful, but fufilling.
In the meantime, I’ll just add the goal! :)
I struggled a little bit in the first quarter, but I really enjoyed it, and can’t wait for the next one! Yay spring!