complete NaNoWriMo 2008

I’m plumbing the depths of Nano techniques here. Following on from Agent Ish’s canny advice to replace all apostrophes with the full terminology – I am for I’m etc – I cunningly decided to replace all CC’s with Curlychaos SoapDragon to get an extra word in each time. But for some reason, it has replaced them with CURLYCHAOS SOAPDRAGON instead – bloody Morten Harket messing with my keyboard again. I also forgot to match case, so I’ve just read a sentence where someone said “Are you accusing me…” and it’s changed to “Are you aCURLYCHAOS SOAPRDRAGONusing me…” which is quite amusing but I suspect as a point of honour I can’t let it stay like that.

_{Just thought I’d share. Must get back to writing now!}

After keyboard problems at the weekend I had to spend some time this evening setting up a new keyboard and then I went back and fixed all the dodgy punctuation in the stuff I wrote yesterday. I did hope to do 2,000 words today but it ended up being 1,100 – still, I edited out some complete dross and managed to get a joke in about instant diet cappuccino so the evening has not been wasted!

Plan for the rest of the week:

• Tues 2,500
• Wed 2,000
• Thurs 2,500
• Sat 6,000
• Sun 2,000

Should be possible – am hoping that the prospect of a deadline on Sunday night will focus my mind. It would be seriously annoying to get to say 48,000 words and then not finish – I don’t think I could bear to let that happen!

so up to 31,000 altogether. I’d been hoping for 5,000 but other things (= G being needy) intervened. Tomorrow should be easier as he’s out and about, although I do need to do some cleaning. First things first and all that – completing Nano is more important than a clean bathroom! _{please don’t tell my mother I just said that}

The Gang have just been back to Madam Ish’s for some dream interpretation and mysterious hand movements. It turns out some have lied about their dreams (er, that would be me) while others (who shall remain anonymous, SOD here) have had wishful-thinking dreams involving Pringles being healthy, and as for Moose I wouldn’t like to give away what she dreams about especially while she’s in Salzburg he he ;)

They’re now in a champagne bar (VERTIGO 42) and my shift key is playing up in a most irritating fashion – sorry that’s real life not the story. Back to the story. The poodles have been smuggled in on the pretence that the Gang are carrying out a study into the effect of hypoxia on canines. I’d never heard of hypoxia until I went to a talk at the Fiends AGM on Thursday by someone who took a load of people up Everest to measure it. Quite pleased with that, you have to use everything at your disposal ;)

another 2000 words on the page this evening and again it took less than 90 minutes.

The Gang have just been pursuing a green alien through central Milton Keynes – they finally catch up with it because it’s got lost at a roundabout. Then they’ve visited Waitrose to get emergency cider _{that bit is not autobiographical in any way, honest ;)}

The plan is to write 10,000 words this weekend and then the end will be nearly in sight.

I’ve written 2,000 words this evening which takes my total to 25,000 i.e. half way through. It only took about an hour too! Am now feeling very positive that I can get this done. Taking the blinkers off and writing what the hell I like (safe in the knowledge I can edit later) seems to have worked wonders for the flow.

The Gang have just had a mysterious encounter in Tavistock Square involving a secret passage leading to a chamber which contains a giant Eastern Island Tissue Dispenser. A clue is written on one of the tissues… And they’re now on their way to Northampton to investigate the aliens from outer space, although one of the more caffeine-dependent members has gone to Madam Ish’s Espresso Bar to see if she can shed (ho ho) any light on said clue. Do we suspect a dreadful mobile phone miscommunication coming up in the near future?

Actually I’m slightly worried that an air of gloom has been cast over proceedings, because when I’m tired and melancholy I find it hard to keep a light touch in the writing. But any unduly miserable bits can be taken out later, or I may decide the thing can’t be relentlessly upbeat all the way through and there do need to be some ups and downs.

so I should hit half-way either tomorrow or Wednesday. Currently the Gang have abandoned the Quest and are getting drunk in London Pub, where a mysterious stranger with a promising Bad Hair Crescendo enlists them in her crisps trial.

I’m having to embellish a fair amount and have been wittering on about the irritating voice in A-lift, my computer’s crap internet connection, and Wednesday afternoon trips to the Co-op with my dad when I was a kid, but I tell myself it’s about getting the words in and all this rubbish can be edited out later.

Am looking forward to the weekend when I should be able to get a solid 10,000 words done and then it will be downhill all the way!

Tonight’s writing has been quite fun. Agent Z, being an ace translator, has deciphered the code hidden in the knitting patterns. It says “TWMMH”. Naturally the Gang decide to to Google this and the fourth hit brings up an entry on a rather fabulous website which cannot be named, by someone who goes under the moniker of Wigglypandemonium ShampooTurtle. Some other people called Elk, Parrot-with-a-Thousand-Eyepatches, and Agent X join in on the thread, and I’m in serious danger of being as pleased with myself as Anne Atkins on Thought for the Day ;)

Am still way behind schedule but am telling myself I can and will catch up. It’s not impossible. It takes me about an hour to write 1,000 words when I’m in full flow, so that’s only 30 hours.

I’m now up to 17,500 words. I seem to be spending a lot of time ranting about completely unrelated topics, but I flatter myself that having the narrator talking to the reader is quite Jane Austenish of me. Also I’m writing a lot which will need to be edited out at the end, so I’d better warn anyone who wants to read this later that the version they get will probably only be about 10,000 words ;)

The key developments since I last reported in:

• the Gang have braved an encounter with the giant spider outside Tate Modern. Nothing happened – it’s a piece of art, after all.

• the dossier with the photos of the malfunctioning flying robot has mysteriously been swapped with one containing knitting patterns. Cock-up or conspiracy?

• most importantly, Madam Ish has introduced a new range of coffees down at the Espresso Bar specially for the festive season, including a toffee gingerbread cinnamon latte with extra dark cherries and whipped cream.

I think it’s fair to say I’m still enjoying writing this.

Didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped this evening – G came to do his washing and brought half a bottle of Maranges 2005 and wanted to tell me about his run on Saturday and show me photos. Am far too nice to tell him to bugger off ;)

But I’ve hit the 12,000 mark and revised the schedule – am only 500 words behind where I’d hoped to be by now, and still reasonably confident I can do this. I’ll need to come up with some new plot twists to keep things going, but have a few ideas – there’s always stream-of-consciousness wittering to fall back on and every day 43T provides new inspiration (today it was the Dark Cheery Mochas).

So the Gang now numbers four humanoids plus two poodles. They’ve defeated the dark chocolate trolls, retreated to the river police boat, found a stash of rum, and a tube of Pringles has just mysteriously disappeared. This would have the potential to set the cat among the pigeons and cause intra-Gang strife, if it weren’t so obvious who the culprit must be. _{Clue: it’s not Morten this time ;)}

It seems like a good place to stop for the evening.

but I’ve used up most of my plot already! Our heroes are currently camping in the middle of the Norwegian forest and drinking a round of breakfast martinis using up the last of the gin. Must write a cheery song for them to sing, or perhaps a lament about the gin being gone, or maybe some combination of the two.

Dark chocolate trolls are about to attack. I suspect it’s all downhill from here.