Live life with joie de vivre

The upheaval in my living arrangements due to flat-painting is having some interesting effects. I’m completely out of my usual routine – no more leisurely breakfast and 43T, then into work and worry all day, then home to spend the evening faffing about doing nothing. This week, it’s been lovely having breakfast together and I find my day is considerably more cheery as I’m looking forward to going home, cleaning up, painting, cooking and having dinner. We’ve been watching the odd episode of Jeeves and Wooster on the DVD player which I’ve taken down to his flat. And it is awfully nice waking up next to someone!

I thought that G would tolerate having me to stay for a week and that there might be some logistical problems (or worse case scenario, that we’d end up having a huge row!) but he seems to be actively enjoying it. We’re both determined to finish the painting at the weekend, but mainly because he wants to visit his parents the following weekend and we don’t want it to drag on too long, rather than because he can’t wait for me to move out.

I don’t think we’ll be moving in together any time soon, but I’m pleased we’re getting on as well as we are and that he’s seeing that having me around is quite nice, actually ;)

has to be the first step. Have just been emailing G and told him I was miserable and he asked why so I gave him a list and what it boils down to is this:

1. I can think of about 6 people with whom my contact, for one reason or another, has diminished since December, and I miss them! In all cases it’s nothing to do with me particularly (I think) but they have other things going on in their lives.

2. I feel overwhelmed at work, frustrated with some of my colleagues and am scared about the responsibilities I’m taking on and that I’m going to fuck everything up.

3. I’m miserable about being miserable, i.e. I’m spending my evenings wallowing in self-pity, feeling that I have become an appallingly dull person who only ever thinks about work and dreams about the bloody season ticket loan reconciliation (FFS!) And failing to look after myself properly as a result.

So those are the problems. What are the solutions?

1. Get it in perspective. G is very busy at work at the moment but we see each other when we can e.g. we’re having dinner on Sunday. C is visiting her parents in South Africa at the moment but hey the girl is entitled to have a holiday, and she’ll be back when I get back to work a week on Monday. What’s stopping me emailing RJ (who has been radio-silent for some time) and suggesting meeting for drinks? As for the other three, I have no doubt that contact will resume in due course, but I need to be prepared for the likelihood that things may not go back to being how they used to be. Nothing stays the same forever. Harking back to the Good Old Days is not helpful.

2. I’m going to make bloody sure I don’t fuck everything up, and with ace colleague Z’s sage advice, I’m sure I will be fine and need to stop panicking and over-analysing every little thing. If I have to produce all the accounts myself with nobody to help me, then I’ll do it _{and moan a lot about it, obviously ;)}

3. I need to find things to do with myself to keep myself happily occupied in the evenings. Sitting in front of the computer just makes me depressed at the moment. Hence the novel-buying expedition this evening. And I need to get back to the gym. It’s getting light earlier now so early gym trips ought to make it back onto the agenda. I’m sure this would help improve my mood.

Now that I have a week off (starting in 3.5 hours, yippee), hopefully I’ll get a chance to clear my flat up, get out of London for a few days, see the pussycats, get some exercise and generally come back feeling refreshed, cheerful and more positive. Watch this space!

This morning I was reading the paper online and came across yet another reference to Spotify, which is some sort of free Itunes type thing… you can listen to whatever you like but have to put up with the odd advert.

So I downloaded it and immediately started listening to angsty indie tunes. It came up with some Echo and the Bunnymen – lovely! – and then from that I naturally went to the Jesus and Mary Chain and selected “radio” whereby it plays a mixture of e.g. JAMC stuff and stuff it thinks you’ll like given that you like the JAMC.

And best of all, I discovered an album of 80! 80! JAMC rarities and B sides etc called “The Power of Negative Thinking” he he, which came out in 2007 and which I didn’t know about (they haven’t done anything for about 15 years after all), and has the most wonderful melancholy song on it, “Hide Myself”, which I’m now playing over and over again and it’s reminding me of when I was 14 and is just generally lovely.

Three cheers for Spotify!

In the late 70s/early 80s, Northampton Development Corporation produced a record, called “Sixty Miles by Road or Rail” (Npton is 60 miles from London) which went as follows…

Sixty miles by road or rail
It’s the love of a fairytale
I just can’t wait to be in Northampton!

accompanied by some cheesy synthesisers.

The killer bit: on the B side was the same song but with different lyrics. This time, aliens lost in outer space found new energy in Northampton. Needless to say, this is going to feature in my Nano novel.

It’s on Youtube here. There’s a bit of crap at the beginning but bear with it.

Altogether now:

Northampton…
Northampton…
Northampton, Middle England!

My mother played our record to my fab SIL last time she was home. Think it’s probably just as well she waited a year after D&G got married before we inflicted it on her ;)

going off all over the place outside – it’s Bonfire Night, a quaint tradition where we commemorate the foiling of a terrorist plot from 400 years ago – and I can see about 6 different displays going on from the penthouse suite otherwise known as Leopard Towers.

Somehow it seems very appropriate this evening, a lovely celebration of today’s election result.

to the Leeds Teaching Hospitals Charitable Foundation to pay an invoice. What gets me is their address.

Trust Funds Dept
Old Dining Room
Leeds General Infirmary
Great George Street
Leeds

Old Dining Room! Doesn’t that sound lovely! It conjures up images of delicious stews and steamed pudding ;) I’m so jealous.

a breakfast martini when I hit 3000 words. Got out the cocktail shaker, took about 10 min to get the lid off, managed not to stab myself with the knife, then discovered the marmalade had gone mouldy (there goes my hard-earned reputation), so I had to make do with redcurrant jelly instead.

It makes an interesting martini and is a beautiful pale pink colour. I have to admit it tastes mainly of gin (maybe I was a bit stingy with the jelly), so one for those who prefer their martinis on the dry side. Will chalk it up to experience, and restock on the Frank Cooper’s asap!

As an over-organised planny type, I have a tendency to get carried away by fears and anxieties which would probably not bother a normal person.

Today’s worry of the day concerns my trip to Burgundy – the fire in the Channel Tunnel has caused disruption to the Eurostar services and the trains we were supposed to be getting aren’t going to be running so we’ll have to turn up at the gate and take our chances. I don’t like this at all! However, I have agreed with my friends that we will meet at 6.30 a.m. at the station on Saturday so we stand a very good chance of getting to Paris by lunchtime.

Moose has also reminded me about my normal habit of taking a bottle of champagne to drink on the Eurostar – I wasn’t going to do that this time as the 3 of us were going to be in different carriages, but now the tickets are up the spout we might get to sit together after all, and a glass of cold pink fizz at 7 a.m. could be just the thing to soothe frazzled nerves! Hurrah.

I would like a Cheese-o-Meter, to record the amount of cheese I eat each day.

My excellent sister in law sent me the link to this site.

_{well, it makes a change from kittenwar ;)}