Work on my secret project

had been jumped over and now on to the next. There are really only two but the next one is a doozy!(Does anyone use that word anymore? It seems appropriate for this!)

I am about a week behind on one part of this and I am feeling the pressure. So much of this is not in my hands and I am worried it is not going to work out. We will see… I have realized I hate being scolded. I particularly hate it when I am trying my hardest. I really have a bad knee jerk reaction to this kind of thing. I need to learn to keep going in spite of it instead of turning and going the other way.

I had been putting off working on this, partly because I was out of town so much and subsequently because being out of town made me feel like I was so behind that I didn’t want to get started. Ugh…So, today I got back to work on this and it feels so much better than avoiding it! The fear of the snake is motivating. Although this past week I would rather have touched a snake than speak in front of a crowd.

I am feeling a bit panicky about this…I want to run screaming”what do you think you are doing????” but the truth of the matter is I have been “on hold” for so long that I think just the fact that I am doing things is freaking me out. This is a big undertaking but if it works out it will be amazing so it is best to just put one foot in front of the other and not think too much about what can go wrong.

Step 1 is completed on the Secret Project(insert maniacal Dr. Evil laugh here.)

I have changed secret projects in mid-stream. That doesn’t really feel allowed but since it is my secret I guess I am the only one that gets a say. Now I am starting from scratch but am much more excited about this one.

After months of ignoring this goal I am finally back on track with it. I am tired of putting it off and all the stopping and starting.

I love that I am starting this on the first day of the month! I have broken it down into two sections. The first section is broken down into 17 parts. The second into 4. I kind of need to work on them together but I am going to start with the first and then add the second. I don’t really know how long this will take me but I am starting on 1 out of 17 today!!

A secret project… this is very hard for me since I have no concept of my own personal privacy. This will be good practice in getting used to that. I am starting this goal today-YAY!!!!!