get over him

Been getting a total of 4 messages from ex this week deleted them all , i deleted it!!! And he sent me three invites to his birthday party but I’m not going to go; after the last time he treated me like a joke, so i will not attend.

I was driving to work yesterday and saw him on the corner, I just pretended I didn’t see and drove past him…it felt so good driving past him. Normally i would have beeped the horn, but this time i don’t need his attention. I know he saw me but who really gives a damn.

I’ve gotten to stage where personally don’t want to know anymore or care wot he’s dealing with in his life coz i’v got my own to sort out, I guess out of site out of mind and the no contact rule is working for me. I think I’m finally there now gettin over him now “Oh happy day”.

I can’t believe i wasted so many months pinning over him, when i could have been having fun. But no like a fool i got all depressed, stopped going out, faked my smiles to hide my pain coz my joy was taken away. Well That s##t ain’t happening no more.

At the end of the day Our book ended and now I’m working on my own novel.

To All my ladies/guys under taking this goal i feel your pain, it’s like it’s endless. But please don’t depend on someone to make you happy because it is admitting that you have no power over your life. And we are mightier than that.

And thus which one are WE a Victim or a Worrior.

A victim is someone who believes that safety and happiness comes from the outside, thus it takes very little to take it away.

A warrior is someone who knows that happiness, fortitude, and endurance comes from the inside, nobody absolutely nobody can take that from you, unless you let them.

Keep your head up people….hopefully the aching pain will pass…for all of us…and wot a wonderful day that would be.

one love to you all

Sofyne xxxxxxxx

Ok!! All in one week
He emails and says “how r u long time no hear speak or see hope ur ok holla back”......i deleted it and blocked the address
He texted me his new number….i deleted it!!!

I don’t personal care at this point, because responding back would only set me back and i’ve made good progress.

i found myself slipping yesterday…i cried. I kept thinking about him. I’m ment to be going out clubbing with some friends next week, i haven’t been out for a really long time.

The thing is i want to have a good time but im scared for some reason coz i don’t want to bump into him. I’m not ready to see him and i don’t want to see him, i haven’t landed eyes on him for 8 months now…..or maybe its PMT playing tricks on my mind.

Hopefully in the morning i would have pulled myself together.

Well i done it and It felt good…i feel my heart can start a new chapter, im able to let go and not feel bad, sad or that im complete loser when it comes to love, i know im not the prettiest woman in the world and don’t have men falling at my feet but my beauty inside is undeniable …hopefully before the year is out i can mark this goal as complete.

I wish you all who are undertaking this goal the best of luck…keep your head up and stay strong.

ONE LOVE x

sofyne

Im just about to go on my lunch break. And im going to burn his telephone number…..i deleted out of my fone but never got rid of the his number completely. I think i kept this piece of paper hoping one day i could call him and have a friendly chat just like we used to do. But i really don’t see us being friends. I called him on his birthday. one because its the same day his best friend passed away, i justed wanted to know how he was holding up and how his birthday party was.

The convo was a bit offish, i mean i spoke to him 2 wks before his birthday, to say i couldn’t make it we had a friendly chat, laughing and cracking jokes on the phone, it felt good that we could do that again. Well this time around i got the impression he didn’t wanna chat to me. I have a feeling his crackhead girlfriend was in the room, anyways to make matters worst he drops it like “Oh i just about to go out the door im going to have dinner with the misuses”. I personally felt he just wanted to double inform me that they were back together and happy.

I wish we could be good friends again but iv made an effort but its all been one sided. Its a shame coz i know im a good person i guess he just missed that one fact about me.

So im letting go…..I will be burning and getting rid of his number for good this time. Thank god i don’t his number off by heart then where would i be lol

im feeling a little better today..im focusing more on my future than wot i could be missing out on if i was with him…which isn’t alot really.

Its a full year now since i got dissed by him….just when i thought i was over it. He got back with her after wot she did to him which pissed me off coz i treated him like a king and would have never of hurt him like she did. Plus he invited me to his Bday party, i so wish he never, after the way he treated me last year.

So i called him a said i will not be attending, he was banging on the phone saying i have to be there and that it would be good to see me but to me he just wants to rub it in my face that their still together and im on my own.

The reality is im still deep down in love with him and i really don’t want to be…it is fucking doing my head in. I want him to be happy and stuff but my happiness comes first, I know i deserve better an one day ill meet someone who will love me back with no question asked. I just want this heartbreak to be over. I tried everything to keeping myself busy, iv got three jobs, i go to college, Brought a new wardrobe , Changed my hairstyle, been on dates…im meeting new people, training for a new career. but Nothing is working…hes always on my brain night and day. I didn’t realize i was and my heart was so sensitive.

I just about ready to make this goal as done!!! Have not seen mr wrong for long while (out of sight out of mind), and don’t really need to see him my life has got better with out him around. I don’t know why i was fussing about him dissing me in the first place he did me a favor!

I did sum shopping a few weeks ago at london’s famous camden market, and i meet this Dread …..very good looking and down to earth…if you girls have seen the film One Love staring bob marleys son, well this guy reminds me of him. And if you haven’t seen it watch it, its a feel good movie that will have ya’ll believing in your worth is valuable.

Plus this guy has an Italian accent which is a bonus! But i must stress girlfriend is keeping her options open, if ya’ll get wot i mean.

what im trying to say ladies…u will get over him, although it seems hard at first and it hurts like hell and you feel like your going crazy, u will get over him trust me! time is a healer, but in the mean time know that its his loss not yours, if he couldn’t see a beautiful woman in front of him and value you then your better off with out him.

I’m tired of peeking out my window and seeing shadows of you.

I can’t roll out with my girls without checking my rearview.

Your callin’, breathin’ all hard on my phone like I can’t hear you.

And every time I hit the club you just happen to be there too.

All I wanted was to see us through.
But when I needed you.
I had to compete with clubs, drugs, the streets and PS2.

Out chasin’ women with your weak ass crew.
I guess when you’re in Rome you do what the Romans do.
But, they go home alone—just like you.
Wishing they would’ve held on—just like you.
Probably callin’, playin’ on phones—just like you.
I’m so through dealing with men—just like you.
And I’ve had a few men—just like you.

Had the ballin’ type, who would call all night and keep claimin’ he’s coming through.
Had the CEO, who would bring me dough cause he always had something to prove.
Had the so-called god-man, that think he can do everything God can, he thought he was closer to God than the church man.
Had the meet me at the poetry spot down to earth man.
Had the man from the club who was only good for a fuck.
Had the street man who kept claiming he was down on his luck.
Had the playa with no goals, no heart, just game.
Had the 24 in the studio on his way to fame.
Had the control freak who thought he could keep me on a chain.
Had a man that lied so much I don’t even know his real name.

But fuck it, cause at the end of the night they all made me feel the same. I had a million things to lose and not a damn thing to gain. I guess DMX said it best, you gotta let a dog roam.

But many nights you never found your way home.
You left me to fight this war alone.
I sacrificed my own blood and sweat.
Yet, you wanna collect benefits like you was the Vet.
Poppin’ off at the mouth sayin’ shit Ja-Rule would’ve said Like ‘love is pain’ and ‘pain is love’

I tell you I need you and I watch your shoulders shrug.
I tell you I’m leavin’ and you call my bluff .
I tell you many men want me.
You say ‘they can have you then’.

So when you beg me to come back I tell you I gotta man.
Whos Not just a lover but my friend.
The closest person to me so I call him my next of kin.
And I know you think you own this.
But guess what, he put it in.
And he represented for all men.

Even those that act like boys but we still call men.
And he goes all out for me so when he needs me I’m all in. Cause he and i went from walkin to runnin’ in spaces you and i used to crawl in.

And You think you can come here and feed me bullshit sprinkled with games on it.
But, when he hit it he wrote his name on it.
I was committed when he put his brain on it.
He and I will parade the streets and I’ll be damned if you rain on it.

Now you say it ain’t over yet between you and i.
And I’m not concerned with your threats.
You come here filled with hot air, but you’ll leave tryin’ to catch your breath.

I told you I was close to empty.
But you wouldn’t believe till there was nothing left
To busy pokin’ out your boney chest
What kind of man chooses the streets over hot meals and good sex.

Look, I know you have regrets
I’m not going to throw it in your face——hell, I wish you the best

But exchanging him for you is like more for less, I just can’t do it
You had your chance but you blew it.
Deep inside I think you knew it was killing me. But, silly me I couldn’t see the forest for the trees and
I didn’t know I was cut so deep until I began to bleed
I guess my mama they left out all the snakes in the story of birds and bees

So you can cry me a river
Boy, cry me a sea
But, that’s the last time I’ll love a DOG
That, ain’t got love for me.

And there i was thinking i was moving on!

I had a dream of him last night this dream included him and his new chick looking all happy and stuff. Great!!! i thought when i woke up!!! I can’t escape them even in my dreams.