be successful

I try to relax but I innately very anxious I think
So I can’t relax
I can’t even lie down still to listen to relaxation audio
omg what should I do?
My heart beat is also very irregular. Maybe I have a medical problem?
omgomgomg
why do I feel like this?
I just have to stop thinking so that I can relax and then
do my homework and succeed!

I define ‘being successful’ as being in the positive cycle of being healthy, happy, productive, social, etc.
I try relaxation audio I find on youtube and it helps me face myself and really figure out why sometimes I feel like nothing is going my way. When everything’s going my way, I don’t do relaxation.
I realize that the most important thing to get into that cycle is to just relax and accept the situation for what it is.
Sometimes I can’t finish the relaxation which is 10min long because the reality hits me and I feel too angry/sad/upset whatever.
Then I calm down and fininsh the relaxation therapy audio.
I just had this homework that I started studying for yesterday, but it’s due tomorrow and I’m scared to death about starting it.
I guess I should just break down the task into small bits and take the first step!