stop loving him

i have not spoke to him since march 8 months and it has been really hard to stop my feelings for him but last night i got a txt saying he wants to talk to me and i dont know what to do talk to him and go right back to the start of all my feelings or dont talk to him and always wonder what he wanted i am so confussed…....

i have to come to terms that i think that adam will always have a piece of my heart no matter what i do now i have to just put him in a box and put the lid on it but i will always love him even if it is just a little i cant help it but i am not going to let it rule my life anymore

i feel lost i miss adam so much i just cant cope i have listened to music thats ment things to us or that reminds me of him and looked at our photos and letters and things he wrote to me and i just sit here and miss im so much and i hate my self for being bad to himand for letting him down like everyone else in his life and more then anything im sorry for letting him go. i call his phone just to hear his voice and i so want o talk to him but i am to scared so i hang up and i dit here and wonder does he even miss me even a little bit but then i think he does he probberly dont give a shit about me and in the end why should he he owes me nothing i just wish he knew how sorry i am and that i have always loved him and i think i will forever but that is the pain i have to live with

people say it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all how is this true when you dont fall in love there is no way of getting hurt there is o pain when they leave you i was once told you should never make someone you everything because when thry leave you will have nothing and i think thats true i know that the feelings i have are not just down to losing adam even tho i miss him every min of the day and my heart just aches i have to addimt that i call his phone just to hear his voice no im not i syco i just havnt got the balls to say hi back i wish i really had i want to know how his is doing if he ever thinks or misses me i now i sound crazy and well maybe i am but i cant help how i feel no one can CAN THEY?

I am finding it so hard to stop thinking of adam i am driving myself mad. how long does it take to stop needed someone or do you every stop that need for them i dont know!!!!!! does anyone out there have the answer lol i hope so please can you share the secreat with me so i dont send myself mad anymore…...

Well for all the people that have love and lost you will no where i am coming from. i had found the guy that i love and if i am honest loved me back even if he didnt tell me all the time and now i have lost him and i feel like im going crazy its so hard to stop thinking about him he was my life….. where did it start well 4 years ago we both started a new job and i new i like him at the first look at him but he had a girlfriend so i did nothing i toke a back seat this went on for 2 years my feelings gowing not knowing that his for me where too. he spilt from his girl friend and we started to hang out more together then more nad more time i stay room his flat all the time but still nothing happened then last febuary when it happened we both had got very drunk at our work do and he was walking me home and he told me i was beatiful witch toke me by surprise as i have never been told that before ever and we kissed that was it we got closer we where together for a while but we didnt tell anyone till this was going on for bout 4 months and we spent all our time togethre so we moved in with each othr and it was great i reallly fell for him { i never thought it would happen} but he had problems he couldnt show his affection never has been as he had not had it from anyone so he kept pushing me away but i knew why so i stayed and love him with everything i could but then things started to happen with both self harm to start with that made problems and because i thought i made him hurt move i started to not tell him things that were happening with me and i ended up losing my job and things and my famly didnt want to know me and his was great he really help and it seemed to be ok but then it started again i told him what i thought he wanted to hear and it all back fired on me and know i have lost him i moved out and dont talk to him but you know when u love someone it feels like your world has ended when thats were i am and what is even worse is the thought that i had hurt him makes me hurt myself i have craved his name in my arm to always remember the one great thing that i had in my life and for that i will always be truly sorry. i miss him so very much i just hope in time i learn to live with the pain of it.

Take Care x