Pick a song that represents how I feel at this moment

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

Don’t look at me
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I’m so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring me down
So don’t you bring me down today
To all your friends, you’re delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That’s the way it is
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring you down
Don’t you bring me down today…
No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won’t stay
And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won’t always shine
(sun won’t always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times
‘cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won’t bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring us down
Don’t you bring me down today
Don’t you bring me down today
Don’t you bring me down today

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
there’s something inside me that
pulls beneath the surface
consuming confusing
this lack of self-control I fear
is never ending
controlling I can’t seem
to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence I’m
convinced that there’s just too
much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
so insecure
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
discomfort, endlessly has pulled
itself upon me
distracting reacting
against my will I stand beside my
own reflection
it`s haunting how i cant seem…
to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence I’m
convinced that there’s just too
much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
so insecure
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing confusing what is real
there’s something inside me that
pulls beneath the surface
consuming,confusing what is real
this lack of self-control I fear
is never ending
controlling,confusing what is real

well i don’t know what to say
because there’s truth to what you say
i know it kills you i’m this way
there’s something different every day
could it be that i never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place to hide?
could it be that sometimes i say things just to disagree?
could it be that i’m only being me?
not easy living in my mind
a little peace is hard to find
my every thought is undermined
by all the history inside
i know i hear the words you said
over and over again
i just can’t get them through my head
there’s just too many voices
must be like living with the dead
waiting for me to begin
to do the things i have said
and for this i’m sorry
so there’s some truth to what you say

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone
These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along
When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

“Fade”

I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too much to conceive

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became ‘cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I’m older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became ‘cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I’m older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

I never meant to fade…
Away

I NEVER MEANT TO FADE

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I’m older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

I try to breathe…