spend more quality time with my grandpa

i recently developed some photos and showed them to grandpa… trouble is, i find it awkward getting started on the convo so i made as if to show the photos to my mum, who was sitting nearby. i tried to show grandpa at the same time but it wasnt very effective because mum was just passing them on to him, and i didn’t really get to talk to HIM, more like just talking to my mum.

Other problems include when i try to ask him a question, but grandma would be nearby and just answer it for him. it’s kind of hard to connect…. what other ideas can i come up with?

well, I met Grandpa again at New Years and wished him well for the year, sat next to him on the lounge and asked some questions. It’s good that we have the new lounge now, now I can sit beside him.

I’ve put this goal as a high priority one because I’ve realised Grandpa might not have many days left to spend with us. The other day we were at my uncle’s place for post-Christmas lunch, and he started choking on some food.

It’s very sad because slowly he is getting worse and worse and I notice that he’s not getting any better, yet I easily forget about him and re-immerse myself in my own happy life. I wonder if he will make it through next year. Each year passed is like a tentative drop; at the end of each year I am glad he was able to survive it, yet I wait anxiously not knowing the numbers remaining.

Every time I make an effort to spend time with him though, it is not quality time. I make a few simple enquiries about his health, and then sit by him as he watches TV or listens to the radio. I tell myself to spend at least 20 minutes with him, though as I glance at the clock on the wall I feel as though I am counting down the minutes til the end of a session of piano practice or study; it feels more like I am living out a self-imposed duty rather than collecting fond memories. But what can I do when grandpa is so quiet, and I haven’t much to say to him? That other day, I sat beside him and asked him whether he was well. He asked me when had I crashed the car. I said. “Grandpa, I didn’t crash no car!”. When grandma heard, she criticised him, and muttered “I’ll tell you, when he takes his last breath….”. So my attempt to make conversation with Grandpa resulted in him feeling belittled rather than content. Perhaps next time I will try to bring some objects or photos to show him, then we might have more to talk about.