go to bed earlier

It was probably just a matter of time since I haven’t been sleeping, eating well, and cold season is here. I got sick. The up side is that I got 11 hours of sleep and woke up feeling better than I have in some time!

Something’s wrong when I have to get sick to rest! But the next night I felt recovered and stayed up later than I should have, then we spent the next evening in the ER with a son’s broken bone… so I’m having a relapse of my sore throat. I have to be disciplined and stay rested this season.

I thought I would catch up on some sleep while dh is on this long business trip. I tend to go to bed earlier when he’s out of town. But my stress level has been so high that I’ve been laying there thinking, with my heart pounding, taking forever to fall asleep. Then I wake up a lot, and wake up super early and stay up.

I have a whole night time routine including warm milk and shower. I’ve been taking some prescription medicine at bedtime when I can’t relax, but it wears off after 4 hours and I start waking up every 30-60 minutes, not getting enough deep sleep. So then I tried an actual sleep med, which helped even less and gave me an unsettling can’t-keep-my-balance side effect when I stand up in the morning. The first night it helped me fall asleep and I slept for a few hours. But the second night I woke up all the way, thinking it was morning and it was just after midnight! This is ridiculous. I can’t function well, I feel terrible, and am so stressed and tired.

The waking up started getting really bad when my alarm didn’t go off one day, and I got paranoid it would happen again. I set a backup alarm on my phone and I’m going to turn my clock so I can’t see it, get out my soft comforter, and see if I can break this cycle.

I’m just not tired enough to go to bed on time. I’m exhausted pulling myself out of bed when the alarm goes off. I’m fighting my body rhythm. And I don’t want to give up my only quiet time with dh with all the kids in bed. I told him I needed to write my awake nighttime self a sad pleading letter before dawn when I get up. “Please force yourself to bed! You’re killing me!” kind of note. :)

I have always liked the notion of being a good steward of my money and gifts. I like the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14) and hope one day to stand before God and have him say, “Well done good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!”

I never thought this had anything to do with going to bed on time!

But recently someone said that we need to be good stewards of our bodies. That taking care of our physical selves is taking care of an important resource. So, it’s not selfish to take care of oneself. It’s not insignificant. It shows my character and trustworthiness.

During the week I’m pretty much in bed on time. It’s not quite enough sleep, but not bad. The problem is on weekends I switch back to my normal body rhythm and start Monday morning way behind on sleep. I need to be more disciplined on Sundays and start the week out right.

I am trying again to get to bed on time. Now I have to get up an hour earlier and have no more down time as I adjust to babysitting the 4 month old all day long. I get nothing done all day but I am seriously exhausted. Even if I get a good amount of sleep, I am so fatigued. It will get better when some of the baby care is more routine and not as mentally draining. When I get up, it physically hurts to open my eyes and move. So, I am really trying to stick to my new bed time.

I’m back in the habit again of staying up very late. It’s my natural inclination. I need to make a conscience effort again and get back on track. My alarm goes off so early, and I can’t adjust that, so I have to adjust bed time. I look tired, I feel tired, I’m not meeting my potential in all I want to accomplish and how I want to face the world (unruffled, patient, steadfast, able to meet any challenge with grace).

I’ve stuck with my evening routine all this time, and that’s working great. So it’s just a matter of choosing only one show to watch before heading upstairs.

It is light so late and I’ve got too many projects going. Then I’ve been reading in bed so I can clear my head and fall asleep. And I guess the bottom line is, I don’t want to go to bed early. I want to stay up late, watch a show, read a book, work on my computer in the quiet coolness, talk to my husband. But the alarm has been pulling me out of dreams and I am so tired. Why can’t we all shift to a more reasonable schedule? Who put early birds in charge?

I can’t seem to turn off my mind and go to sleep. Last night I went to bed at a decent time but couldn’t stop thinking. Last time I looked at the clock, nearly two hours went by. Then I slept really lightly and woke up almost every hour. Then I completely woke up 40 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. This can’t go on!

I went to the gym today, so I hope that will help me sleep tonight. I think I’ll start a new book and clear my head of the day’s events a bit, too.

Well, I had to get sick to get the rest I needed! The first night I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t breathe and had a splitting headache. I think I was clenching my jaw, too, ouch. The next day I was feeling pretty awful and went to bed at about 8:30 with some Nyquil. That worked great so I did it again the next two nights. I worked late over the weekend but was able to sleep in and today I am feeling good and rested. :)