Marry the love of my life.

I have alot of ideas about love, and what it should be, and how it should feel; mostly because, at 20, I’ve yet to be in love, or even to have thought, for awhile, that I was in love. I haven’t dated much, and I haven’t put chasing women for the sake of sex as a very high priority of mine at all. I think alot of it is that I don’t feel like I’m good enough for the kinds of women I’m interested, in, and I have a very strange relationship with my self-esteem. Although I’m not in a relationship right now, it’s by and large the one thing I’ve been pursuing in my life for many years now: a serious, long-term, committed relationship, the kind that leads to marriage. I’ve been putting away about $50 a month for awhile now, and I figure if it takes me another 2 years to find the right person, 2 more years of dating to get up the nerve to pop the question, I should be able to buy an engagement ring around $2500. How many years after that it’ll take me to afford a wedding, I cannot say, but as time goes on, and my friends around me are falling into committed relationships, getting engaged, getting married, having children, or, in some cases, racking up substantial numbers of notches in their belts, I find myself wondering if the modern film and television bombardment of love and lust has duped me, like so many others, into believing that true love is something that is right for everyone, and which everyone attains…. More and more I find myself wondering if perhaps it isn’t my lot in life to simply enjoy the world around me, and to try to make it better for the future generations that will be sired by my peers.