live deliberately

Progress report – ask for what I want and say what I mean. Leaps and bounds really. It’s way easier when you start off knowing what you want an can clearly articulate it. It makes it far, far easier to say what you mean. New Years was a great example of this and I think I almost pulled it off completely :-) ...perhaps I should work on keeping my mouth shut as well…

Progress report – keep putting up boundaries. It’s nice to hang out with old friends who I know I don’t have to put up boundaries for. :-)

Progress report – plan some things more, plan some things less, spend more time living. Cemented I reckon, as much as is possible. :-)

I’m glad I’ve re-read this goal. I had forgotten that I was focusing on asking for what I want and saying what I mean. I guess I’m getting better at it, but not quite there just yet. I still feel really defensive – well I act defensively – when I do ask for what I want and say what I mean.

(Progress report – keep putting up boundaries. Doesn’t really bother me that much any more, just feels like normal. I feel less like it’s all about me now. I will keep this in mind over the next few days. I need to makes sure I have appropriate boundaries in all situations. :-)

Progress report – “plan some things more, plan some things less, spend more time living” – wow whee! This one is going great guns. I’ve got the next year just to spend my time living. i’ve done minimal planning and I know what my boundaries are and I’ve thought through (as much as one can) the consequences of it all.

Nothing to do now but get out there and get into it. the weird thing is that now I’m writing this, suddenly I realise how much I’m already in it and have been, I’ve just been faking it.

So maybe chage that to: nothing to do now but remind myself that I’m already in it and that’s exactly where I belong.

For the next little while this goal will mean “ask for what I want”/”say what I mean”.

(Progress report – keep putting up boundaries. wow. This has made a massive difference to my sences of self (duh), my stress levels, my happiness, my contentment. Yes, it feels like this is all about me…even through I know beyond all doubt that this is justas much about how others feel around me.

It is hard sometimes but I think I’m getting the hang of it now. I’m going to keep thinking about it because this really needs to grow but the seeds are in the ground and it’s almost mid-winter :-)

On the down side, I’m finding that I like some people a lot less than what I thought I liked them before. I guess that’s just going to happen sometimes. And that’s ok too.

Progress report – “plan some things more, plan some things less, spend more time living. I’m continuing to revamp my music collection. I’m really enjoying it. There is heaps of really great NEW stuff out there to listen to. I’ve planned (most) of my holiday now. I have a few big things left to do but I’m not all that worried about it. I know I’ve got the time if I keep on it to get everything done. Living here is going much better these days. :-) )

I’ve got duplication again. :-) I’m going to take down “keep putting up boundaries” and roll it into this goal. For the next little while this will be what this goal means for me.

(Progress report – totes ok with “plan some things more, plan some thins less, spend more time living”. I don’t think I’m quite there right now as part of this goal also involves making decisions for my life and moving forward with them but I think I’m in a far better space now to get this one on the go. I’m going to start with a holiday, revamping my music collection so i can let go of the past a bit more, and giving living here a bit more of a go.)

I’ve decided to rationalise my goals and remove duplication between them. This means that this goal is being merged with “plan some things more, plan some things less, spend more time living”

I’ve done this as:
1. both goals involve being less implusive
2. both mean I have to spend some time planning – but do have to get out of the planning phase as well.

It’s going pretty well actually. I’m feeling much, much better about this. It’s like someone has turned a light on! Interesting, mildly uncomfortable but ok.

I think I’m going pretty darn well with this one. It’s so very tough. It hurts more than I thought it would. It takes a surprising amount of guts and grit. But I’m doing this – just gotta keep at it for a little longer and then I’m done I reckon.

I’m doing things like saying that’s not ok. And it’s ok. I know when I’m in a bad situation and I know I can get out of it.

Goal live deliberately, I’m looking you in the eye and you’re finished!

So I did this today. I saw a problem, and I tried to fix it best I could. I don’t think I did such a bad job either.

Tough, took some courage but got these in the end!

Today was not such a great day…it’s only 11:00am too! I am a leader of a team and I lost my cool today during a race. I feel really bad about it. Really, really bad.

I let my hand and mood be driven by others. This has to stop as I really like rowing and it would be a shame if I hade to change or stop now. I guess i’ll give myself a few days then I’ll think about how to best go about fixing this problem. Bit too miffed right now.

Tomorrow!

Generally this is going really well. When it came down to it, it is actually pretty easy to get rid of bad influences in my life (and no, I’m not talking alcohol and late nights). It was at times very painful to let a the big ones go…especially when some of the big ones decided that they should be let go but not without putting in one final negative word. So to speak.

You don’t get everything.

Now those influences are gone and I feel so much better for it. Thinking things like: don’t tread on me! (Massive kudos to West Wing for that…and many other things). It all helps. It’s strange and very much the cliche that now I feel like I’m almost ready to begin again.

Whitout further ado – here’s to a deliberate start.

I float too often. Just drift where ever. Then wonder why I’m suddenly in a very bad position. Well not this year! Oh no…this year I’m going on the record and I’m doing it deliberately.

I’m looking before I leap and, in what could only be an unprecedented move, stand down from the edge if I can’t justify the squeeze for the juice.

This year, I’m going to play it just a bit smarter (not safer).