do what makes me happy

To tell you the truth I really don’t know. I realized most of my life my happiness was based on the happiness of other people. Some pushed me around because of it and some appreciated it and went on with my life. When I think I wanna do something that makes me happy, and someone disapproves I don’t do it. And if I do end up doing it anyway then that person thinks negative of me and makes me sad. I really need to get out of this state and learn to care for myself and do what makes me happy regardless of what people may think. But I don’t want to become a total bitch either. sigh…