Overcome my eating disorder.

I gave up on this goal for awhile. I felt hopeless, like I’d never have a healthy relationship with food. I thought I was so fat, there was no point in anything. I’m going to keep trying though- some of the entries on this website have inspired me to try again. Thanks for the encouragement and good luck to everyone

mmackenzie, I totally agree with you- it is so stupid that I care so much about something, that when looked at from the right perspective, is nowhere near as important as I believe it to be. Good luck with your recovery- it took me a while to get used to eating again too, but I know we can do it!

The longest I’ve gone now without ED behavior is 24 days. My new goal is 25. I can do it! Stay positive everybody and don’t give up!

This has been a part of who I am for 12 years. I’m tired of all the lies, I’m tired of missing out on social events because of it. I finally asked for help 2 years ago, and I have made tremendous progress. I am not happy with gaining the weight back, but I have gone over 2 weeks now without skipping a meal or throwing up, which is the longest I’ve ever gone since I was 9 years old. I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever really be better, but I want to say to everyone struggling with an eating disorder, please seek help if you need it, and don’t ever give up! There’s always hope!

XXXXX

So I was thinking- my eating disorder is like a huge heavy rock held up by lots of legs- some big legs, some small legs. Rather than try to go for the big rock, I’m going to focus on knocking down the legs- then the rock will eventually fall down and crumble into a million worthless pieces and I will finally be free! Some of my legs:

1. Stop weighing myself 20+ times a day. My weight changes all the time, so it isn’t always accurate anyway. And even if it was, my self worth shouldn’t come from a number.

2. Stop scrutinizing myself in the mirror. I’ll still look in the mirror to make sure my clothes match and that I don’t have panty hose stuck to my back, but no more pinching and sucking in and pushing out and finding everything that needs work

3. Stop comparing myself to others. I will never allow myself to fall to true anorexia again (right now I’m technically EDNOS) I accept the fact that I am at a healthier weight, and I do not look like a skinny little waif anymore. Waifs are not better than me.

4. Acknowledge my feelings. I am a human being. I have hopes and dreams. I have disappointments. It’s okay to cry. I don’t have to try to brave all the time. When I want to throw up or restrict, I will ask myself why I feel that way, then act on those feelings

5. Accept help!!! I have always tried to be Miss Independent, taking care of not only my needs, but everyone else’s too. It’s okay to admit I need help. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay to receive help.

6. Tell others. Eating disorders thrive in secrecy. I will tell some of my closest friends, and talk to those who already know too. Not just my therapists and nutritionist and doctors, but “normal” friends who will just listen and not judge me or tell me what’s wrong with me.

Today I am fasting for religious reasons. I am trying to focus my thoughts on Christ and how he can help me overcome my eating disorder, but I started thinking about my weight again (negatively), and I just weighed myself, and I weigh 3 pounds more than I did when I woke up this morning. Does anyone know why this is??? I haven’t had anything to eat or drink all day, not even water. I’m going to break my fast in about an hour, and I don’t want to skimp out or throw it up thinking “Well, I gain 3 pounds from eating nothing, what will this soup do to me?” I think I should just stop weighing myself…

Hi everyone, my goal was to go 15 days without b/p ing, but I slipped on day 14!!!! Auuggghhh! I’m so frustrated with myself because I’ve had so many urges that were so much stronger that I was able to resist! I just have to pick myself off, dust off, and start over. Today was day 2 for me- I ate a bit too much, but not a true binge and no purging :)