manage my depression

yeah, i have manic depression and after a recent visit to the psychiatric outpatient’s unit i have been told i am in the middle of a mania episode. i have been reading up on it and it seems to me that i am going through more of a depressive episode or a hypomania situation… it is horrible and i have no idea what i am doing most of the time. i have no attention span and just shift from one mood to another at the blink of an eye.

i am meant to be going on Lithium soon… but the hospital is faffing. i hate it. i hate feeling like this, like some big stranger is living in my head. i am sometimes so shocked about some of the things i say and do without even a second thought. am i crazy?

so, i have been to the GP and gotten myself onto some temporary anti-depressants. they are temporary because i have manic depression and i need to go onto a lithium-based medication.

quite frightening. we shall see. watch this space.

i am finding it increasingly harder to manage… my husband and i might be divorcing soon and that is taking quite a huge toll on me. i don’t know what to do.

i am finding it incredibly hard to figure out how i am going to do this… like, i was on anti-depressants for a while and i got busy for a while and forgot to take them for about a week and i felt amazing. i felt really alive and wild but i also have regular times when i feel quite out of control… it is fleeting and doesn’t last more than five minutes before i lost interest in being grumpy or mental. i tried going to counselling here but the counsellor made me angry and i never rescheduled. i need to sort my life out.