overcome my biggest challenge

“I created a vision of David in my mind and simply carved away everything that was not David.”
- Michelangelo Buonarroti

I guess i have a vision of what i want my body to be like in my mind and i can simply exercise to carve away areas i dont like. ( i wish it were that easy)

People incinuate that I have given up physics..like I am one of those people who give up when things get hard..but the thing is I love physics and it will always be a strong part of my life. I feel that from the choice I made to start over has robed me of my dignity but I will get it back again after I have gone through these hard times. Not alot of people understand me (including my family). They dont know who I am or what I stand for. All I want to do is to contribute to life as much as possible both artistically and intellectually. Artistically is by joining a dancing company (not commercial dancing where the emphasis is on skimpy clothing and not art) and intellectually (by doing a phd in physics). Unfortunately they cannot be done at the same time and dancing needs to be done when you are young. My desire to do this may leave me with little time for social connections but I would rather stand for something than be boring. I have also realised that in some cases it costs you money to actually contribute to the world in a meaningful way and it can often go without recognition. Great scientists have made discoveries that were never recognised till after thier death or works of art have never been truly acknowledged until the artist has left the world.

So unfortunately I must work hard to make money along with my lifelong dreams.

I am going to write a list of schools to audition for, including the cost and location of the school and the date of the audition. I wont audition if I dont have enough money saved for the audition.

I will also write a list of dancing contracts-that are not ballet, but I will audition for becuase it will give me money and keep me fit while I am working towards my goals.

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.”
- Henry David Thoreau

I will achieve my dream because I am capable of doing so. I can imagine myself as a fantastic dancer with a fantastic body.

Evaluation:
has the student attended regular classes?
yes but sometimes skips for personal reasons
does the student comply with school and class regulations?
sometimes does not follow exercise, dirty and torn clothes/shoes sometimes is a distraction
Is the student respectufl to teachers, staff and fellow students? sometimes talks in class and talks back to teacher
does the student exhibit discipline?
does not exhibit enough discipline when it comes to food, doesnt pull up enough
is the student focused and attentive during class?
sometimes doesn not listen to all corrections
is the student prepared and on time for class?
sometimes is late
does the student understand movement and use of legs? turnout? stretch?
does not use inner thighs and bum, does not stretch legs/knees enough
does the student understand movement and use of feet?
does not go through demis enough
does the student understand basic coordination skills? does the student combine steps to follow basic combinations?
sometimes does not learn the combination properly
does the studnet understand phrasing, tempo and mood change?
does not always follow music, mood change is not considered
,

“She who teaches me for one day is in some way my mother for life.”
- Chinese proverb

1. It is important to be beautiful and work as hard as poosible in a ballet class so that a teacher notices you-the teacher then corrects you more and helps you to progress-making it better value for money and bringing you closer to your dreams

2. It is important to work on ballet 24 hours a day to bring joy to your own life and to others. To not be afraid to strive for beauty and perfection every minute so that it can be one day achieved. Always sucking tummy in and turning out feet, holding shoulders back and lengthening legs..

I am going to have to go through a total transformation :)

1. foot streches
2. releves
3. crunching toes when i stand
4. therabands
5. massaging my foot, cover with a hot towel and then stretching it
6. While sitting or standing still, practice foot articulation: flex and point the feet, make the “Barbie foot” (foot arched, toes flexed), write the alphabet in the air with your foot, using your ankle; crunch up and then spread out your toes, try to wiggle each toe independently, try to make circles with each toe individually; stand on a washcloth or small towel and try to crunch the whole thing under your foot by using only your toes to bunch it up in sections; then push it back out to flat with your toes
7. drop and lift a marble off the floor
8. try elevating your ankle only, with nothing under your actual foot. then raise your foot up and down, holding your foot for minutes at a time, to strengthen you could also raise your leg, and vair quickly change from a flexed foot, to a foot on demi pointe, to a fully pointed foot. make sure u hit each position definately or it wont work.!!

She followed slowly, taking a long time,
as though there were some obstacle in the way;
and yet: as though, once it was overcome,
she would be beyond all walking, and would fly.
—excerpt from Going Blind, Rainer Maria Rilke

ways to improve turnout

1. sleep in frog position and do exercises in frogy position
2. do sit ups to get the abs that holds turnout
3. do bum exercises
4. do oversplits to the side
5. sitting on floor, lift leg with rotators
6. lying on back and slowly bring leg out to the side
7.
Lie on your back. Place your hands under your hips with the palms facing down, so that you are basically sitting on your hands. Put your legs straight up in the air so that they are perpendicular to the floor. Bend your knees slightly so that you can see them. Flex your feet and put your feet side by side. Now, leave your heels touching and your feet flexed as you turn your whole leg out; you will know that you are doing this if your knees and toes are going the same direction (your feet should never, ever go farther out than your knees). Then return to your feet side by side.
8.
Stand with your heels together and your feet turned out. Place your right foot in front of your left so that your right heel is touching your left toe. Start to walk forward along an imaginary line, lifting each leg all the way up behind and then placing it in front of the other foot with the heel of the front foot against the toe of the back foot, making sure you maintain your turnout. When you get to the end of the room start going backwords! This strengthens the muscles needed for turnout.

9.
Do your 3’s very slowly forward along your imaginary line, watching that on each step both feet stay turned out, with your knees turned the same direction as your toes. If you have trouble with your foot staying turned out, do your 3’s even more slowly, perhaps even walking them, until each time your foot touches the floor it is turned out and stays that way. When you reach the end of the room, try them going backwards

10. walk forward with over crossed 5ths

Life is a like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you can only spend it once.”
- Miguel de Cervantes

I found this answer on a website:

The reality is that few young dancers support themselves by performing. In fact, most dancers work in jobs such as catering, word processing, or fitness.

So I guess this may be a way to first support my dance training.

My dance teacher said that she hates it when people are fake. When they say they love ballet but dont actually love it. A persons love for ballet should be unconditional, no matter what you go through you should still love it.

i guess i should never stop even when i feel pain.