be more positive

...but finally think I am a little more of a positive person. How did I finally checked this off my list? Someone just told me recently that I am a “positive depressive” person. Haha…

I’m still working on it since I grew up in a family of negative/put down people, it’s hard to break away from it. However, just living out on my own away from the family helps. My co-workers are the best and they always stay positive and try not to gossip so much which I really enjoy being around with.

It is getting difficult be positive about anything right now… I’ve been betrayed, deceived, and disappointed. However, the only thing that is pulling me through….is my lifetime goal… to travel the world, which will be less than a year.

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right now, if you read my “control my depression” recent post…you will understand what and why i lost hope and trust with anyone right now….

Just finished my last summer school…

9 more months of school left…

9 more months of dorming left…

9 more months of constantly being broke…

9 more months of stress and pressure from family…

9 more months before I graduate with a bachelor’s…

9 more months before I go on my Europe trip…

9 more months before I can move out and live on my own…

9 more months before I can get a decent paying job…

Until that very day… I just got to keep pushing through… ignore the stress, frustration, and pressure from my family especially the person I call “Dad”...

Gotta stay alive…gotta stay healthy… gotta push through…

At this moment, I feel no hope in myself…

im trying to be more positive…so far its been good. thats because im not living at home anymore. im so glad that im out of there…far enough for me to enjoy my life for once. this weekend i went back home but it just didnt feel right. whenever im around there, my whole perspective on things change …to my old self..to my depressed self… i didnt like it. i feel more vulnerable when i was there… i just had to get out..

i will never go back there again… at least for now… until i move into a bigger place i will just go back to get my things that i have left…

i have to forget that place to be happy…

I tend to always be negative and I’m trying to change my life for the better this. So far, so good. I just gotta stay positive. I’m enjoying my life a little bit better.