stephrn in New York State is doing 41 things including…

save my marriage

115 cheers

stephrn has written 16 entries about this goal

Trip this weekend  — 6 months ago

My husband and I are going away for 2 days together. It will be good to spend some time alone and rejuvenate.

Feb 14, 06:42AM PST 3 cheers | 2 comments

Anniversary  — 7 months ago

Our 16th wedding anniversary is coming up in a few weeks. I would like to go away somewhere overnight even if just a short distance. I am thinking about surprising him by making plans and then just going.

Jan 22, 07:25AM PST 1 cheer | 2 comments

Not a bad holiday  — 7 months ago

My husband and I got along pretty well over the Christmas period. He put some thought into the presents he bought me and he really seemed to like what I got him. We butted heads a few times but no real arguments. It was definitely one of our best Christmases. I am grateful for that.

Dec 26, 07:37PM PST 4 cheers | 2 comments

December is always stressful  — 8 months ago

We have 2 children with Dec. birthdays which adds to the usual holiday financial strains. (Yeah we were not great planners with that one) My husband also lost a brother on Christmas in 1993. There is significant emotional baggage there. I try to consider these things as I navigate December’s murky waters. It doesn’t make it easy though.

Dec 17, 07:04AM PST 3 cheers | 2 comments

ups and downs  — 9 months ago

Earlier this week there was another argument that would have continued had I not had to go to work. I hate fighting. I am going to find another counselor to work with our family. I’m not done with this yet. He says he misses me when I work at night. I can see his point of view on that. Maybe this is still some hope. I told him we could do something alone together this weekend – see a movie or something.

Nov 02, 06:52AM PDT 4 cheers | 2 comments

Not going well  — 11 months ago

I am on the verge of giving up. The pressure of having to move in short order is causing my husband to be more neurotic than usual. We had an argument today that ended poorly. I’ve been on the fence for several months. Now I feel that he is pushing me toward the decision to go our separate ways. As I told him, all I want is no more fighting….Peace. If I have to leave to achieve that, then I have to leave.

Sep 17, 2007, 09:28PM PDT | 7 comments

Today  — 1 year ago

I was on the quiet and reflective side. He always tends to interpret this as bitchiness, as if I am doing it just to make him mad. Sometimes these moods are related to him and sometimes they’re not. In a roundabout way everything is related, I suppose. However, my happiness or unhappiness on a given day is not always directly correlated to the state of my marriage. Argh.

He says, “I don’t want to lose you.” Then he points out that he made me dinner yesterday (which is true) and that he has been relatively pleasant to be around for the last few days (which is also true).

My memory jumps back to last week when he was arguing with our son and to his other habits which I find unacceptable. I don’t mention these things because bringing up the past or anything negative tends to lead to an argument. To be honest, I don’t have it in me to argue today. I let it lie.

In my heart I know I can’t wait around forever for this drastic change. I want to believe it can happen…but time and again it hasn’t.

Apr 23, 2007, 09:04PM PDT 4 cheers | 8 comments

Still struggling  — 1 year ago

I don’t know sometimes whether to stay or go. My opinion changes so frequently. On our trip we had a couple of rather large disputes. I felt that I really couldn’t stand being married to him anymore. But there were some tender moments there as well. Thus is the paradox of this marriage.

We had lunch together the other day and that was nice and “normal”. Then he continues with certain self-destructive tendencies and I want to scream. I have to work through this and make a decision.

Apr 19, 2007, 07:48AM PDT | 0 comments

Frustrating work  — 1 year ago

It’s hard to get a handle on this marriage thing sometimes. You would think it gets easier after a certain amount of time. Newsflash: It doesn’t. I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he has been trying my patience severely: No present for my birthday (which to me is a big deal), has returned to a habit which is harmful to him and against my personal code of ethics, quit seeing the therapist. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing here.

Mar 27, 2007, 10:52AM PDT 2 cheers | 3 comments

Anniversary date  — 1 year ago

I went with my husband on a day long journey. It was fun. Time seems to go a lot faster when we are out on the road together like that. I wish everyday could be like that. Not realistic though. I suppose I have to take the good and bad both. Day Trip

Feb 21, 2007, 02:17PM PST 2 cheers | 0 comments

stephrn has gotten 115 cheers on this goal.

 

I want to:

The world wants to...

eat more vegetables get over my fear of dentists get my driver`s license back work for the CIA Go to Mardi Gras become a male stripper make soap Rondrea "the graduate" Mathis wants to Read the entire Bible watch lost season 3 feel more confident get out of bed every morning and have a smile on my face and achieve everything i put my mind to . smile at everyone and give lots of love and laughs. take dance lessons Get toned see the northern lights Work out more live sustainably set up DNS for my home network take better photos These people wants to obtain & maintain a Body Mass Index (BMI) within the range of 20-25, which experts generally consider to be healthy. watch nip/tuck meet bam margera and spend a day with him.. kiss under the mistletoe Meet the Dalai Lama become famous learn to walk in high-heeled shoes get up when my alarm clock goes off go to China