finish my masters thesis

I’m going to work on this and not stop working until it’s done. And then I shall celebrate.

Today, I listed down the people I have to interview for my chapter two. It looks like a good start.

Had first consultation with my thesis adviser after the proposal defense. Basically, we’re working out the kinks in my proposal revision. I have to remember that this is just the introduction and not talk about heavy points right away.

I don’t know why it is, but my thesis used to be my entire life. Or was I just using it as an emotional crutch because I had just then stopped dancing for that company I used to dance for? Now, it’s not my entire life anymore, just one of the things that I have to schedule.

I haven’t shown my adviser yet my paper that I delivered to China. I guess I don’t want her tsk-ing and saying, “But there’s a lot of holes here…” Sigh.

On the other end of the coin, my editor of the newspaper I used to write dance reviews for is urging me to write more reviews for her.

This is why I love blogging. In blogging, you don’t have to worry about the holes in your writing, or what your adviser/editor will say. Blogging is more relaxed. Blogging rules!

I’ve figured out my new outline. And I’ve listed an immediate timetable. Now, the most immediate thing would be to rewrite my proposal into an introduction. That’s taking its time, because, well, it just is. Post-defense depression maybe?

I’ll work on it tomorrow. It is supposed to be a vacation week after all and I guess I don’t have to talk to my thesis adviser again anytime soon. I’d like to believe I’m allowed time to regroup.

Not entirely happy with some people on my panel but I should be happy that I’m now on to the next step and the work involved looks like a lot of fun. I rewrite my introduction now. relaxing

I contacted the members of my proposal defense panel already. One of them emailed back and said she was “honored” to be on my panel (I think it’s her first time on a proposal defense panel, I’m not too sure). The other one I went to visit today and he stirred up a lot of things – my topic is too broad, doing all these histories is just a waste of time, am I looking at this artistically or sociologically (and he won’t accept that I’m trying to do both), what then is my definition of ballet to tie these three companies together, yadda yadda yadda.

I remember writing my undergrad thesis; he was my adviser. Before I was finished, he demanded I show him what I’ve done so far and he said it was all cluttered and pointless. I was so depressed that I nearly threw in the towel and my brother said I would be so cool if I just stuck him with an unfinished thesis and no degree (which was a big deal because I was supposed to be the 2nd to graduate from that degree and the second to write a Bachelor’s thesis for that course. And I am.) but my mother made me finish the darn thing, never mind if he flunks me, at least I had finished it. He ended up giving me a really good grade.

I tell this story to remind myself that he really just loves to give me a hard time and not to buckle under.

I went to my thesis adviser after discussing with him and she was optimistic about it, despite chiding me for confering with him already – that’s what the proposal defense is for. She acknowledges that he’s probably still in the old school formalist mode and to convince him that I can do the artistic and the sociological as my topic demands a multi-dimensional approach (gawd, I love my thesis adviser). She also agreed that we should collapse my histories so that it’s not too broad. It’s not the overhauling I thought I would have to do.

I should make a to-do item in 43 things entitled “stop freaking out when people criticize your thesis…” Yep, I’ll do that right away.

My thesis adviser likes what I’ve done so far, but has advised me to concentrate first on defending the proposal. I’m in the process of fine-tuning it. It looks very promising, I can see a lot of the things I want more organized into their proper shelves, yay.

Tomorrow, I’m going to the CCP Library to check out a couple of things. I need to complete my definitions list, and wouldn’t you know it, I’m hard pressed to define BALLET on my own. Of all things. Haha.

Also, I have to look at repertoires of the three companies and decide if I’m going to focus on a particular period or whatever. Eep, I’m tamad.

But we’ll see how it goes.

I have a thesis adviser, she’s scheduling me in for consultation next week, probably on Tuesday. She’s one of the best advisers in school, and one of the most sought after, so naturally she’s also one of the busiest. So, next Tuesday it is.

That means I have time to rewrite my chapter one, which I have titled:

The Filipino as Dancer
From the Pre-colonial to American Periods

where I convince everyone that Dancing is second nature to the Filipino people from time immemorial and give a description on what the dancing was like in ancient times, then under Spanish colonial rule, then again how it changed when the country was sold to the US. This is an important build-up to Ballet’s introduction into the country, which is what my thesis is about. I just have to remember to keep this chapter short and sweet and not get into much detail, because it’s not the topic of my thesis.

Hopefully by Tuesday, it’s not only finished but it’s impressive and my adviser will be excited for my thesis proposal defense. Which we have yet to organize, hence my need to make this first chapter really good.

I must say, though, it does look promising. Eeee, I’m gonna pass out from the sheer thrill.

I am having the time of my life writing my thesis. It’s the last thing I need to do to get my Master’s Degree and I like all this research and writing. If I ever do get my PhD, it would be for the same reason. I suppose you could say I’m doing this the hard way, but, if I may be honest, it’s not all that hard.

To whomever it was that left that anonymous comment on my blog: I’m very smart and talented enough to not want to buy my Diploma, but thanks for offering.

I need to get a few more books to back up the research I’m currently doing so far, but it’s actually going quite well. I’ve been worried about not finishing on time – I have till May 2006 – but it doesn’t look as bad as I originally thought. With the research I’ve already done, I can actually start writing the drafts for my next two chapters (chapter one being my introduction/thesis proposal, which has yet to be approved) and then just add from there.

I don’t know yet if my request for adviser is approved. I’ll probably find out tomorrow, when I go to school to apply for an ID. I don’t really use my University of the Philippines ID in the University of the Philippines – I use it to encash checks, hehe; all I do is show the bank the form that says I’m currently enrolled and they accept it. But since the ID is expired – and they have long since issued a new version – I have to go get a new one. Which I shall do tomorrow.

Aaaah, so many plans. Yay.

I had to change my current one because he’s not full-time at the moment. The new one that I want is, my former adviser said, “a good choice.” Yay! I send in the formal request tomorrow, I’m so excited.