go to amsterdam

street markets, crooked buildings, singing trams, coffeeshops, and strangers speaking various languages. helpful irishmen with maps. everyone speaks english. laughing buddha and amnesia haze. museums and parks. book markets and flea markets. so much. good.

i’ll upload pictures later.

it’s snowing here. yes indeedy. apparently, the coffeeshop guy told me, it’s going to snow all weekend. a freak march blizzard. they’ve been experiencing the same global-warming-apocalypse-coming weather shifting bullshit that we have. not that i hate warm weather. i just hate getting caught offguard when it comes to things like weather. especially because i’m so ruled by it…. it sucks. but it was sunny for a bit and it’s amazing…

[random] one thing that gets me is the fact that so many different kinds of transport all co-exist so harmoniously…. i was shocked when i heard that all the construction that i’ve been seeing was because they were putting in a subway. good for dutch engineering but what’s the point? the tram sounds amazing. bikes are so sweet. and the cars do what they do…

on a similar note: i love that there are so many languages being spoken at any given point. its soothing to know that you’re pretty much just another tongue amidst the wagging bunch. there’ll be someone somewhere who will hear what you’re saying….

but anyway. i got up today, made it to breakfast this time, showered and took my own leisurely time getting ready. stepped out the door and got sidetracked. i was going to check out the redlight district but i don’t think i actually care to go all that much. there are a few things in that area i want to check out but the ogling at prosti-tots is too much for me.

so anyway, i was walking in what i thought was the right direction (i sorta hate pulling out a map like such an obvious fuckin’ tourist… not that i’m not obviously already without the map. maybe that’s just the problem) when i realized that i needed to get some headphones – pronto. so i wandered into a mall (that is, randomly enough, in what used to be the really old post office) and bought those earbud headphones and a dvd (night watch, russian vampires on crack). then i got sidetracked again because i wanted – really wanted – those giant over the head alien headphones. finally found some. mission accomplished. but i had forgotten all about going to the red light district and i just kept walking instead. somehow found myself way south (instead of east) of where i had started. that happened to me yesterday too. i think it’s because i tend to walk along the canals instead of crossing them (check a map of the dam, the canals are like concentric circles with the train station at the center and everything else pretty much to the south east and west).

luckily! i found barney’s lounge. it just opened a few months ago and is so much chiller than the original barney’s. the crowd there had been more like one you could find at a bar. well, maybe not all that… it’s just always busy and moving. the lounge, on the other hand was pretty close to empty and felt much chiller. the guy working there was a fantastically nice irish guy. he’s the one that told me about the snow.

today has also been interesting because my atm card decided that i couldn’t withdraw money. so i dropped 3 euros on a pre-rolled love potion spliff and1.50 on a drink and suddenly i was broke. that sucked.

but have no fear! i am smart and figured out another way to get money. (not involving the RLD)

lessons learned today: talk to the guys that work at coffeeshops, carry coffeeshop map with me everywhere (so much better than all of the other maps i had been carrying around), thank coffeeshop guy for teaching me how the tram works, roll spliffs ahead of time if you forsee they will be necessary.

that last one is just a nod to the fact that i also wanted to learn how to roll well so i’ve been practicing. i’ve got 3 and a half all ready to go right this minute.

let’s begin with yesterday’s setbacks

i missed my flight. yeah, i was as shocked as you might be. i had been sitting on the john with nothing on my mind but how satisfying a nice dump can be when i suddenly realized my stupidity. when i had decided what time to take the train to nyc i had forgotten about the fact that i needed time to check-in and go through security. as it was, i had left barely enough time to get to the airport before the plane took off [read: 10 minutes before takeoff]. so there i was, unwiped bum and sudden trepidation with nothing to do but cross my fingers and hope that i’d make it.

i wiped, washed, and zipped. then i ran to catch a cab, took the train, the bus to the airport, ran up the steps and realized that i was far too late already. there was no way. so i cursed, ignored my mom’s phone calls and went to the bathroom again. i tend to gather my thoughts best if i’m in a public restroom as opposed to out among the public. well, there was nothing i could do but pay the fee and take the 11.20pm flight.

when we finally landed i was running on only a few hours of sleep and so i set out on the quest immediately. the train from amsterdam was very clean [and it was a doubledecker!] and fast. arrived at last to the city of my dreams at 12.30pm on thursday!

first stop: the flying pig. (in)famously social environment packed with young and high tourists. the only space left was a bed in a dorm with 20 other people in it and my desire to leave my pack somewhere was so great that i took it and immediately ventured out in search of barney’s.

ended up talking to a couple of kids from ny and jersey because the coffeeshop was so busy that i was asked to share a table with them by the waitress. to be honest, i was glad for the company. i had just made my first purchase [amnesia haze] and was settling in to roll a joint when i realized that my joint rolling skills were abysmal compared to the works of art created by everyone else around me. the girl, meerie, showed me how to roll a nice fat spliff and we were off! needless to say, i got very stoned. very quickly. as i was sitting there i kept thinking about how different, yet similar, the clientele and atmosphere of a coffeeshop was to a bar. there was something less menacing about the coffeeshop but the air of addiction was the same. it also seemed to be so much more casual and relaxed with none of the rowdiness that you might encounter at a bar. well, maybe a little rowdiness.

the two kids i met were going to a concert that night at the paradiso [damian marley]. apparently, this venue used to be one of those really old churches but it now holds concerts with the performers on the altar. i probably should have asked to tag along right then and there but i was feeling ridiculously tired all of a sudden. the smoke and the jetlag were getting me down so i decided to head back to the hostel and have a nap.

this is where i get a little confused. i manage to get inside and to my room. there are already a couple of guys in there, ostensibly sleeping, so i decide to just stretch out on my top bunk in my clothes. oddly enough, i start to hear weird noises and for some reason i can’t get it out of my head that the guy across the room is jerking off. i honestly can’t say whether he was or not but just the thought was freaking me out. i kept looking across and it would seem that he was just eating and reading but i kept hearing the sounds when i wasn’t looking. eventually, i decided just to ignore it and try to sleep but all of a sudden there was a flashing of light. the fucker was taking pictures! my imagined masturbator was taking pictures….. of what though? so i got REALLY freaked out at that point and decided to pack up my stuff and find hotel groenendael. unfortunately i couldn’t get a refund. they told me to come back the next day and if they had managed to sell the bed i could get my money back.

i ended up walking all over town because i got confused [i was definitely still very stoned] but managed to find the place and get a single room. it was such a blessing too. the first thing i did was take off all of my clothes. i didn’t even notice the giant window next to me until i had completely stripped. luckily, the window was facing a blank wall.

in sum, my first day was a bit of an adventure. this wasn’t all that descriptive about my general emotions and state of mind but just know that they were all over the place. i managed to get a good nights sleep and i’m staying at hotel groenendael for the rest of the week.