finish my dissertation proposal

spoke with me for over an hour today

she’s always encouraging, and really wants me to find something of interest to me. why is that the last thing i think of? i have so little faith that i can succeed that way. she’s done that spectacularly, but i don’t think i have quite her skills, or genius to be sure

i’m so very grateful that i’ve had a chance to meet her and know her.

like my Will…
but on hold for regeneration and renewal

it’s funny to re-read that entry about talking to my advisor, because my understanding is different now… i’m supposed to be ‘engaging in dialogues’ with critics i feel… well… conversational with. so the idea as was to get somewhat rigerous in my reading and thinking. which is fine. good. but not so much of the moodling. i must have still been in the glow of the conversation.

but i’m very far from any of that now. i’ve had a cold and haven’t been doing much of anything. i really think i get sick more and worse than others. it makes me feel lazy, when i actually am sick. a cold is a week in bed for me.. 5-6 days anyway. i think tomorrow i’ll be better.

i have been having some fairly anxious anticipatory thoughts about this conference/retreat in july. ahh the monkey mind

and i spoke for an hour on the phone this evening… great, great, great. if i could get this damned paying work out of the way i could get back to reading musing moodling and all that good stuff

i completed a proposal that was approved by my advisor, and submitted it to the other readers. that’s the ‘done’ part.

two of the four additional readers wanted revisions, however… so it was back to the grindstone, whence i am still.

i’m surprised that i put this goal on hold. it should be my main thing, really, and so it’s great that i have progress to share on it… and as i keep reminding myself, slow progress is infinitely faster than no progress at all.

cheers,
sunya

but putting completion on hold in favor of daily progress while hunkering down

and e-mailed another for some theory leads i wanted

this was a hurdle because for some reason i posponed and resisted and forgot and delayed and put off doing this, simple as it seems

i suppose you need some minimal level of intelligence to complete a doctorate, but i think organizational and psychological influences are much more important

it’s figuring out how to get yourself past just these kinds of obsticals that makes the difference between completion and limbo, i think

which is the key to all progress, so far as i can tell

i mean, i might tweedle away hours even there, but eventually, i do get something done.

today i also, finally, was able to transfer files of a bunch of dissertations i’d ordered… blocked for weeks by idiotic technical obstacles (not my fault, totally irritating, and really stupid)... so tomorrow i should be able to print out relevant sections. whoopie

so haven’t been proposing for a while

(though still have four million hours for forty-three things)

but good diss progress today… founded a writing group . we’ll meet weekly . send writing . get stuff, like, done .

this should be good!

saw a friend proofing his diss a week before his defence

said don’t spend much time on the prospectus . . . just get it done . . . start on the diss

i keep forgetting that everything about this process is about just checking it off the list

the depth comes from plowing ahead, not staying in one place digging deeper