survive my long distance relationship

I didn’t get to see him over thanksgiving break.
A month ago he wanted to see me so bad and now, what am I now to him?? In less than a months time I am nothing?
It hurts so bad knowing that we were only 20 minutes apart and I never got to see him. Only two short phone calls during break. That’s it.

I thought this would get easier, but it just got worse.
Winter break is going to kill me.

I’m sad and confused.
I thought maybe it could work. but I just don’t know anymore.
maybe everyone was right.
that he has his own stuff to deal with and people to meet. no time for me to be in the picture.
and to think I didn’t believe them. but now I am starting to.
though I honestly don’t want to. I still want to believe in this, I want it to work so bad.
It’s so lonely.

he leaves for college in less than a week.
then a week later I leave for college in the oppostie direction.
12 fucking hours apart.
im a wreck. and i havent even seen him this whole week because hes so busy with everything.
i want to hold him so fucking bad right now. i’d give anything.