Rebuild my confidence

i add this one to the done pile. my confidence is back, i don’t feel beat down anymore, i am applying for jobs and feel good about my chances. so i lay this one to rest. with joy.

found a place in me that allowed me to face some scary stuff today, some people that do not wish me well, and who have worked very hard to tear down my self-confidence. i told myself again and again, like a mantra: if i am myself i will be ok, because i am ok, i’m a good person, no matter what they say. and magically… i WAS ok! stood my ground. wasn’t intimidated. believed in myself. saw that their crap is just their problem and not mine.

someone said to me yesterday that just by being around them and being who i am that it’s like i am holding up a mirror to them and they see what they are and they don’t like what they see. and of course they want the mirror to go away. and so they try and get rid of me. this doesn’t mean that i should be different. i am me. they hold the power, so i will be gone. banished.

but as long as i remain me they have not won. the trick for me is remaining here, in me. i have been away a long time.

thank you kendra. thank you julie. thank you moses. thank you mel. thank you mike. thank you joanne. i love you all and owe you my life.