face my fears

i’ve realized that you must start, you must push yourself into it. it’s not easy at the beginning. i’ve had a lot of fears and that was not allowing me to live my life. so i had to start someway.

but the good thing is once you’ve started the fears are overcame one by one even with no effort at all, it comes naturally.

the first one is a lot hard, A LOT, but once you’ve started your confidence starts to grow and you feel yourself a lot brave and that makes a lot easier to face all the other fears.

some times i think i’m all alone, that no one understands me. and that’s right, some times, they are rare, but they exist, that no one will understand my feelings and behavior. and that’s why i gotta be my best friend. i gotta understand myself, not being condescendant but understand that i’m human, i make mistakes and i can’t come back time and fix them. i just have to get up and start over. stop looking for approval. if i understand, support and approve myself, then everybody else will. and that’s the strength i need to face my fears and overcome them.

lots of fears overcame. but i still have a lot more to overcome.

i can really say i’m doing well on this goal. i’ve faced some of my deepest fears like having to deal with some things from my childhood, some huge traumas i had and i can really say i’m stronger now. i still have a lot of fears to face but i’m a lot more confident and ready.

i’m really focusing on this goal right now. i’m still fighting with the idea of starting a real therapy but reading a lot about psychology and stuff and doing my own considerations, which helped me a whole lot already.

i feel great, i found out millions of things, specially from my childhood. i’m trying to heal my wounds and deal with traumas. respecting myself, my limitations, my human nature, full of flaws, trying to find myself at the bottom of all this mix of society values and “to-do rules”, finding the things that i really value and things that really makes me happy. it’s been a journey and it’s only gonna end when i die. i’m finding beautiful things and i’m falling in love with myself and that’s more than what i was expecting to find. so i’m truly happy.

i still have a lot to do. and i’m more and more excited. facing fears is not bad at all afterall.