be a better buddhist

Today I went to see the relics of the Maitreya Project. It is a collection of more than 1,000 relics of Buddhist masters, some dating back more than 2,500 years. What I found particularly inspiring was that the exhibition was held within a conference room at the Flamingo Hilton, right on the Las Vegas Strip. Above us, the tourists were pulling the handles on the slot machines as we entered an incredibly tranquil and spiritual space, so removed from this world that I really felt like I had been transported to Thailand or Tibet.

I was only able to devote an hour to the exhibit. I prayed. Prostrated myself before the relics. Received a blessing from one of the monks on hand. I gave a small donation to the project, and received a lovely talisman that I’ll add to my shrine at home. Later in the day, I told dozens of people to visit the exhibit on Sunday, the last day it will be in Las Vegas. Everyone I spoke to seemed inspired to visit. I must have been successful in conveying the wonderous importance and uniqueness of the opportunity. I intend to go again tomorrow and spend more time there, just soaking up the tranquility, so absent from our bustling tourist destination. I felt very connected to previous time spent in the Zendo in Tokyo and the wats of Bangkok. Tomorrow, I shall take my prayer beads and some flowers. What a wonderful Sunday to look forward to.

I took my younger daughter to my favorite Japanese temple, Asakusa Kannon, on 3/29. We burned some incense, tossed coins in the collection box, clapped our hands, and prayed for health and happiness in the year ahead. I used to do this each New Year’s holiday, and it felt good to reconnect with the rituals. Although rituals are by no means necessary to be a good Buddhist, participation in them somehow reaffirms faith and direction. I’m glad we went.

I also purchased a golden talisman to replace an old paper one at my personal shrine, and a new bell to replace a broken one I’d purchased at the temple several years ago. It has a beautiful tone and vibrates long and clearly when struck. I intend to call forth its voice when I pray at home in the future, a nice connection to Asakusa on an audio plane.

As a Buddhist, I have the greatest respect for the spiritual paths that others choose. But sometimes the teachings of the great masters become tainted by secular agendas.

This recent video about Jesus Camp shown on the Time/CNN blog The Daily Dish, is very disturbing. Would Jesus teach the lessons these children are receiving? I think it’s sad, and rather scary.

On Tuesday, August 8th, my girlfriend, Kathy, went into Sunrise Hospital for surgery. What started as a pain in her abdomen while putting some dishes away on Sunday was diagnosed on Monday as a “vernal hernia with umbilicus incarceration” (I think I got that right). In lay terms, the muscles lining her abdomen had developed a hole or rip and some tissue from inside popped out and got trapped. We could feel a little knot, about the size of a quarter, beneath the surface of her skin.

On the positive side, her problem got caught and remedied before it became an emergency. I am thankful for this blessing. Now, Kathy is resting at home, wearing a girdle-like wrap, while taking antibiotics and prescription pain relievers. Today we got her some books and CDs from Sunrise Library so that she doesn’t go stir crazy. It’s no fun being bedridden. Although she can walk some, and she is even supposed to do so, she can’t bend over or carry anything heavier than ten pounds, so most household chores are out. On Monday, she’ll see the surgeon once more, have the tube removed, and hopefully get off the meds.

I’m doing as much as I can to make things easy for her during her recovery by shopping, doing chores, adjusting her bandages, and trying to cheer her up generally. Truth be told, I don’t think I’m a very good caregiver. I hate hospitals, doctors, waiting rooms, pharmaceuticals, and pretty much anything related to medical treatment. I’ve never spent a night in a hospital or had any kind of surgery, other than some stitches. I avoid drugs, prescription or otherwise.

So this is a good test of my compassion. I’m using the experience to put myself in her service. But I still hope she recovers quickly. I know Kathy misses her mobility and so do I.

To refrain from harming living creatures (ahimsa).
To refrain from taking that which is not freely given (stealing).
To refrain from sexual misconduct.
To refrain from incorrect speech (lying, harsh language, slander, idle chit-chat).
To refrain from intoxicants which lead to loss of mindfulness.

I’ve created entries about precepts three and five elsewhere within this website. I’ve adhered to one and two to the best of my ability ever since I became an adult. However, I still lapse occasionally on number four, and use a curse word now and then… much more since I moved to Las Vegas. I can do better.

I also can work on being more mindful about not contributing to gossip and idle chit-chat, although it can be seen by others as being unsocial. I want to take the opportunity to step my conversations up to a higher level whenever possible.

Curiosity was always one of my strengths. Then somewhere between the ages of 48 and 52, my interest in new things waned. I had traveled far and accomplished much. Was I content? Was I fulfilled? Had I achieved all my goals and stopped learning? One thing was certain: I lacked motivation. Nothing seemed to catch my interest anymore. Clinically, it may have been an undiagnosed state of depression.

By June of 2005, I realized I had reached an end point. I was stuck. I could no longer envision any future. I was fearful of losing all I had worked so hard to gain, not so much the material things but my reputation, my self image and what I defined as my place in the world.

Buddhism teaches that past and future are illusions. Only the Now exists, and existence is temporal and contingent. All is nothing, nothing is all. Acceptance of that had had a calming effect on me when I was in my 20s. At this time in my life, however, it was discomforting in the extreme. I was experiencing the suffering Buddha referred to as Dukka—all worldly life is unsatisfactory, disjointed, containing suffering. I had fallen into the ways of ignorance caused by attachment and desire. I had lost the path.

Ironically, it was in my discomfort that I found motivation. It became clear that it was time for yet another change in a life full of changes. If I was truly off the path, then I had to head in a new direction. Over the next six months, I made some crucial choices regarding my career, where I was living, how I was interacting, and what my priorities were. It required facing some humbling truths.

In abandoning the shell of my old self, I am rediscovering the beginner’s mind within me. I’m reading books again. I am writing again. I am opening up and sharing my thoughts and feelings. I once more find myself looking forward to the challenges of each new day. This is a process, and it will take time. What’s important is that I am learning and I am more open to new opportunities and adventures than I have been in years. I am beginning to accept that I am where I need to be, and where I can only be, creating my future by focusing on the present.

I rededicate myself to being mindful. I am grateful for all that I do not know.

I sometimes find it difficult to remember the dogma of Buddhism. Dogma is not necessary to practice, but it is useful in explaining practice to non-practitioners. I just completed some research on the Internet to create a one-page summary of the Four Noble Truths, The Twelve Stages Of The Eternal Cycle Of The Soul, The Eight-Fold Path, and The Five Precepts. Reading these now and then may help me remember the path and how to explain it to others.