since I got any extra mileage out of simply “being my age,” but yesterday I was eligible for half-price admission to the annual “Age of Chivalry” Renaissance Fair at Sunset Park and took full advantage of it.

It made for a nicely distracting afternoon outdoors, with costumery, sword play, parrot shows, jousting matches, storytelling, comedy acts, live music and lots of heavy food, including fried zucchini, flower onions, steak and mushroom pie, and funnel cake. Plenty of grog, too, of course. Kathy won a pot hanger made right before our eyes by the Fair’s blacksmith.

Ah, but speaking of age, our tired muscles are most definitely reminding us today of all the walking we did. Sunday will most certainly be a day of rest.

I do not eat fast food. I usually make my own lunches or get by on a can of SlimFast. But on rare occasion, I’ll dine alone in a restaurant. Yesterday, I was craving some eggs, so dropped in a Denny’s to take advantage of their daylong breakfast. There on the back was their Senior Menu. I ordered the Senior Omelette (without bacon). It came with hash browns and an English muffin on the side—only 429 calories in all. And the cost? At $6.49, it’s about two bucks less than a similar order from the regular menu. Being a “rookie” senior, I need to remind myself to look for such discounts and specials more often.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run – anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4PM.

9. You can live without sex, but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. You no longer feel the need to buy the latest top 40 hits (nor do you care what they are).

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

_{And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience}

or 66 months, till I can apply for Social Security benefits. One of the advantages of being close to retirement age is that you can actually envision what the Golden Years might be like. When I was in my 40s, I had only a vague notion. Now it’s pretty clear. I’ve studied the pros/cons of retirement at 62 on the Social Security Administration web site, and it’s obvious that taking the benefits as soon as possible is advantageous for me. I could continue to work part-time or be self-employed, and I’d only need to earn about $1,000 a month to live pretty well.

I met a friend at Coco’s the week before last. They had a special Senior Menu and I ordered a $2.99 cheese omelet with hash browns, toast and coffee. They say you eat less as you get older. I’m not to sure about that, but it’s nice to be able to eat for less.

I stopped by a martial arts studio in my neighborhood to inquire about their Tai Chi lessons. I was told that they have a Yang short-form class for adults that meets each Sunday from noon to 2pm. The cost for seniors (55+) is free! I plan to stop by on Sunday and see if it’s a class I’d like to join.

When I was in my teens, there was a saying, “Never trust anyone over 30.” Well, I’ve been a member of the “untrustworthy” segment of society for a quarter century now, and according to local custom, this month I’ve officially joined the ranks of our “senior citizens.”

It’s a milestone I’m rather proud of, actually. There was a time when I was sure I’d never live past 40. I guess it’s true what they say: “Only the good die young.”

I became a member of the Association for the Advancement of Retired People (AARP) when I turned 50, and I received quite a few benefits, including discounts on travel and insurance. Now that I’m 55, I want to take advantage of the opportunities available to us “old folks.” I know I’m eligible for discounts at movies, health clubs and certain public events. I just have to start remembering to ask for them. I can now get into senior housing if I want, and even though it doesn’t currently interest me, it’s nice to know that it’s possible. I also think there may be some groups I can get involved with, such as the annual Senior Olympics or activities at the local senior centers. I just need to do my research.

I want embrace my aging with grace and creativity. There’s no reason why getting older should not be getting better. I just need to adopt the attitude of an active senior. There are still lots of good years ahead, and I intend to make the most of them.