take a chance today

I will go to Bilbao. I have to take a chance and stop relying on everyone like my mum or siblings or dad to do things with. I should get out there and take the opportunity to visit my cousins even though my mum and sister can not make it. It makes me feel bad because I do everything with them, but I have realised, even they have their own lives to an extent, which is what I don’t at all. Really. I hang on to them as my security blankets and it is making me less and less talkative, independent, friendly and confident- all less of this. I need to be more of all these things if I am to survive and have a fulfilling life! I must stop living in fear and grab life by the balls!

I talked to 5 new (ish) people. Even with a feeling of rejection bouncing around my head. Woot, go me!

Tomorrow, since it is already night, I will… do something, take a chance.
It’s like ice skating… taking chances, I mean. Until you let go of the side rail and give yourself a chance to fall or glide, you will never know what it is truly like to live. Today I took that chance, I wwas skating and was getting bored because I was holding onto the rails. So, I sat down and later I thought what the heck! I forced nyself, along with the encoragement from my brother and sister; and I let go of that damned rail and pushed myself. It felt like flying and I felt a change come over me- i felt free like never before and strangely, I didn’t even care if I fell, which I nearly did. I recomposed myself and got back out there on that ice! Woooooh! It was fun, I tell you!!