be proud

14. im proud of kicking bad habits
alright, so i mentioned kicking smot poking earlier, but there are other bad habits ive kicked too. some are social (like interrupting people), some are health related (like soda), but theres a main very bad habit id rather not disclose that i kicked. well im pretty sure i kicked that anyways.

so this concludes my “be proud” goal! i dont feel significantly prouder, but im glad i got all of that down anyways.

13. im proud of the books ive read
ive read some pretty good books. instead of explaining why im proud, ill list them here:
guns, germs, and steel
48 laws of power
the alchemist
the theory of poker
kafka on the shore
baron in the trees
think
the kite runner

12. im proud of my friendships
i know this is pretty basic and there are tons of people who are better at this than i am, but im proud of the friendships ive maintained. by friendships i dont mean my boys that i rabblerouse with on the weekends, i mean people who ive known for quite some time and have a strong connection to. it tends to be tough for me to keep up friendships, but ive put a pretty good amount of effort into it, and i think its paid off. im glad i have what i have.

11. im proud of my personal restraint and self control
there are some things that i can’t control. weather, other people, and destiny come to mind. but i can control myself, and i think ive always been good at this. this is useful socially as well as at a more personal level. i think this is one of my better qualities.

10. im proud of going to paraguay
i spent the summer in paraguay, as you likely know if you’ve checked out my 43things. im proud of this not because i survived or anything, but that i decided to go in the first place. i completely stepped outside of my normal boundaries. before that, i was a pretty standard kid. i tended to think about school and video games and friends. my day consisted of school, home, and sleep.

someone told me that they had just gone to Paraguay through an organization called Amigos de las Americas, and he told me, “man, there’s a whole world out there.” i replied, “yeah, i know that. i read about it all the time, i’ve seen pictures, i’ve watched videos, i’ve witnessed it.” and he said, “you haven’t really experienced it though, believe me. it’s tough to really feel that it’s real, that the world out there actually exists, but it does.” i passed this off as meaningless teenage banter. somehow, though, four months later, i signed up to go to paraguay. for this, i’m proud.

its strange, when i went, i didnt feel like it had made any sort of impact on me at all. “yup, this is the third world. there’s dirt, work, animals, country people and lots of sun. am i really learning anything? am i making an impact?” i left paraguay two months later with doubt as to whether it was worthwhile. only recently have i really felt that it changed the course of my life. what has impacted me the most is the knowledge- no, belief, that there is a world outside of the united states, the free first world, and “western” ways of life.

9. im proud of playing piano
two or three years ago i decided that i was going to play piano. so i taught myself to read sheet music and play piano, and i’ve been playing ever since.

8. im proud of being contemplative
it comes and it goes, but i have those moments of deep contemplation and introspection, and these are very, very important to me. i think id be a very different person if i wasnt so contemplative.

7. im proud of my college ambitions
so i havent gotten accepted into a hong kong university yet, so all i can say is im proud for trying. i might get in, i might not, who knows. its quite a wildcard. but i think i should be proud of trying anyways. tonight i sent off my fourth app. ive really given it my all.

6. im proud of not poking smot
way back when i used to poke smot a lot. it was a lot of fun and i dont regret it, but somewhere along the line it fit less and less into my lifestyle and goals, so i quit. it wasn’t hard to quit, but im still proud, just because it shows i have at least some self control. it’s been four or five months now! wow!

5. im proud of the social skills ive developed
way back when, probably 8th or 9th grade, i had confidence but no real skills. i decided, around 10th grade, that i’d spend the next few years working on this. i definitely am considered one of the socially gifted nowadays, and im proud of myself for being able to dedicate myself to this for so many years. it really turned out well, and i think in the long run will make me a happier person.