stop stressing

i had a major panic attack today when i went for my chem exam…

to find that it’s not actually on until tomorrow.

rather than breathing a sigh of relief at the extra time i have for study, i nearly hyperventilated. i’d dropped out of aquaculture and that was the exam that was on today – i saw people from my old class giving me strange looks and i just became terrified of what they think of me.

stupid, huh?

i have to stop worrying about what other people think of me – particularly people who i’m likely to never see again.

• work. i’ll get through the increasing pile of stuff i have to do. and my boss is away for two weeks, so that’s a relief to not have her over my shoulder all day.
• theatre. there’s some issues with one of the shows i’m doing, but i’m going to resolve them tonight.
• my friend, who had to go through a lot in the past week.
• chem exam. i’m studying, i know most of it. why am i so petrified?
• not knowing my future path. whatever will be, will be. i just have to decide whether i want to go into microbiology or go into writing and philosophy more.
• wondering about the situation with my ex-who’s-now-a-shag-buddy.
• getting over the fact that i still live at home. it’s not a crime.

whew.

• unpaid bills
• work – receiving only two shifts in the next two weeks
• upcoming chem exam
• shows – having to rearrange my work schedule for rehearsal time
• my weight
• being unable to transfer to another degree next semester
• my friends and that i’m neglecting them
• doing my washing
• still living at home
• having to work tonight even though i really, really don’t want to
• still not being over my ex-boyfriend
• jealousy issues
• procrastination issues
• inadequacy issues
  + others that don’t immediately spring to mind.
  why is life so difficult?